"Alone" Time

Slowly but surely the idea and luxury of ''alone'' time is beginning to dawn on India and many Indians. I think being alone and going further to enjoy time alone is or atleast was something that struck like a sore thumb given the context of India and its fetish for large joint families. Ironically, though the population is steadily rising, families are becoming nuclear and people after having short flings with diverse cultures have slowly started relishing and realising that being alone is not equivalent to being lonely.

But what strikes me is how this ''alone'' is defined and understood. The first meaning that popped out when I googled the keywords definition of alone is:

''having no one else present; on one's own''

As much as I like to think that we are closely attached to people, the thought that being away from people is equally preferred has become our definitions of enjoying ''alone'' time. But don't we have to live in a crowded set-up to realise that we like some time alone for ourselves? This contradicts the life lived by people outside India. For better understanding, let me refer to my American, British and Irish friends who have by and large lived all by themselves - earning, living, loving and doing things independently. But does being independent equivalent to being alone? Not necessarily, I reckon. On many occasions, being independent and being alone and enjoying the space is confused. One can live in a large family yet function independently. Or does alone signify getting away from people, familiar people 'only'? And like everything else being alone can be savoured, I reckon, only when one has enough and more company.

Sometimes, force of habit also becomes something to gloat about for lack of a better reason to justify one's actions.

So, what's your take, dear reader?

Gagging on milk powder

Can someone actually gag on milk powder. Well, if it is someone like me who likes to eat milk powder and is quite greedy about stuffing more than the mouth can contain, then one is sure to gag. And, one can even be gagged by the muffler, I read! Products like baby food, milk powder and certain other milk based powders somehow tickle my taste-buds and when I consume them, I do so like a frenzied person who hasn't come upon food for days. It begins with the promise of a single teaspoon but ends up with atleast seven teaspoons and much gagging. The problem is not seven teaspoons but seven teaspoons in a single (small) mouth at the same time! Even now when I think of it, I am  metaphorically choking and wondering how I could have managed such act of gluttony. Come to think of it, I gag on many things - literally and figuratively.

Take Facebook for example. I sometimes tend to spend so many hours browsing through the idle treats that are available to me that at the end of the day I feel as if I have gorged unlimited Facebook bytes that I feel tired and spent without having moved a muscle. I am not complaining but I sure feel sullen about the time that has slyly passed without my knowledge.

Another gag is sleep. I gag on sleep that when I finally decide to get some work done, my sleep memories often prod me to sleep again. Sleep is blissful and restful but the thought of sleeping without having done what I ought to have done, gags me. I choke and blame my irregular cycles of planning/procrastination.

I gag on books! Yes, you read that right. Books are meant to read but they have their own time. If one reads when one is meant to be doing something else then the guilt gags you big time. For this, I have to shift the blame to the many Facebook book clubs which I am a part of. See, the cycle has come full circle by connecting everything to the Facebook gag!

I know that this post was an exaggeration of sorts but then everyone is gagging on something all the time - and some gags come disguised as seemingly constructive things like Books, blogging, music and the not-so-innocent milk powder!

So what are you gagging on today?

Promises shrouded by Procrastination!

Finally, I have accepted the fact that I can turn the most promising tasks into undone tasks due to my supreme power of procrastination. Since I have chosen to be aware of everything I do, I realise that I tend to procrastinate more than I think I do. On the same note, I realise that I also make lofty promises to myself and regrettably wallow away at the end of the day mulling over my procrastination. My state is something that can be easily reversed but sadly I delay even that process.

Every morning I wake up with a smile and a tune and mentally make note of the tasks for the day. All is well. I prepare breakfast, check my mail, see my husband off and promise myself that after a few minutes of Facebook, I will work on that incomplete paper for our forthcoming book. I smile that I can manage things well not realising that Facebook has already plotted for my time and energy. The few minutes of Facebook suddenly leads me into the kitchen for preparing lunch. What!!!! have I been so long whiling away precious time? The great procrastination pushes its hood slyly and remarks, "Well, I can start that paper after lunch." But after lunch, the body demands its siesta. The rest is history.

I can be surprised that after years of knowing my weaknesses, I can still ignore that warning within me rather tactfully. In the evening while my mind wanders in the direction of the unwritten paper while doing the rounds of our evening walk, I dismiss the thought by a mere, "I was quite busy." If you would've noticed, I wasn't busy as I assume I am but rather not prioritising my day. And, at the right time the Universe, as always gives me a message through MindBodyGreen in the form of an article: How to Stop Saying "I don't have enough time to exercise." Inspite of this article talking about exercise, it holds good for every other activity.

I guess it's time to rip the shroud of procrastination. Wish me luck and positivity.

So, what do you think?

Images: Shutterstock.com

The many interpretations of waiting!

Today my husband and I were at an auditor's office. It wasn't crowded nor the work we had was something that required plenty of time. It should have been done in a couple of minutes. But no. We were made to wait for a very long time. It was then that this post struck me. Being made to wait is a sign of power. The longer a person is made to wait, the more important the person on the other side is. In India (I can't speak for any other country. If you have similar experience, please do share) everywhere one is made to wait. The person-in-charge will never commit to an exact time and if she/her does so, then invariably the time is delayed. An appointment is given only to prolong it. If one is asked to come on a particular day for getting some official papers, the papers aren't given until two days pass. Laziness? Power? I don't know. I am unable to put my finger on any one particular reason. But like the shit, dirt and squalor that you read about in the last post, we the citizens of India have grown accustomed to waiting and being denied the luxury of having everything done on time. So when we visit other countries, we are almost bedazzled!

My dear friend K, exclaims, "But the wait is part of India's epistolary tradition . . ." when we discuss our letters reaching each other at the earliest. We endlessly wait and perhaps that waiting has added that extra dash of pleasure for receiving hand-written letters. But can someone trust our postal system and write a love-letter to her/his friend? Who knows by the time the letter reaches the person, she or he might have fallen in love with someone else and even married him or her. Well, that's the waiting for letters.

Now, the waiting that many young ones profess to be doing: Waiting for Mr or Ms. Right! I hate to be the one to throw cold water on this belief like Sharmila Tagore did to Rajesh Khanna in the film Aradhana! The rights never exist, it only depends on us to settle down for someone who is an assortment of rights/lefts/wrongs and humour! Tell me, who is the right one after all. If the looks are good, the thoughts are creepy, if the thoughts are good, then the education is not okay. Finally if everything is good, the person is already taken! Well, the wait is not actually a wait, it is foolishness.

So, in India, we end up waiting for many things and if one calculates the time that we have waited for everything, it would be a good number and in that time we would have done many other wonderful things - like wasting spending time on Facebook, repinning inspirational quotes and smiling buddhas, checking what blog posts have appeared in the dashboard and so on.

Sometimes even the internet booting makes you wait. Well, one can always check stuff in the mobile until then.

So, dear reader what have you waited for?

Image: Internet

Thoughts on the concept of 'weekend'

I can bet that the early man had no concept of weekday and weekend. I reckon that it's a fairly recent phenomenon. Even when I was a student at school and college, there was nothing like a 'weekend.' My guess is that the trend of the weekend was largely made popular by the American working ethics where five days are devoted to only work and a two day break which is usually a Saturday and Sunday. I can even go ahead and say that Sunday was the usual day of rest or Sabbath as it says in the Bible and the western system being Christian added a Saturday to the Sunday and christened it as the 'weekend.' With the onslaught of MNCs in India, everyone has adapted to the concept of the weekend rather effortlessly.

Now, what surprises me is that the weekday/weekend concept seems appropriate for people who work and   require respite from their work, hence a two day break to cool their heels. But every age bracket seems to have appropriated the 'weekend' phrase that the word has become pretty ubiquitous. Once Thursday dawns, the familiar, 'So, what plans for the weekend' starts making the rounds not only in offices but even schools, colleges, universities, supermarkets and other places. What is amusing is that even students in the hostel await their weekends as if they have slogged their a#$% off in the week. I understand that students also work hard but their work and the work done by a professional are quite different. The student has nothing else but studies peppered along with some love stories, games and hobbies. This student who has not a care in the world looks forward to the weekend! Ha.

Every Facebook page that carries adverts starts the 'Weekend is here, what are your plans' slogan and one is rather stifled as to what to do with the weekend. For some, like me, who never really differentiated the weekday and weekend, messages which end with 'weekend' are viewed quite suspiciously. Yesterday atleast three individuals wished me "Have a happy weekend" or "What plans for the weekend?" as if the weekend is what I have been waiting for. Maybe weekends do matter to hard-working individuals who look forward to the Saturdays and Sundays, but not me! The weekend concept has become so very compulsory that some poor individuals who work on a Saturday and Sunday are made to look very very sorry since they literally 'don't have the weekend!' Now, how can anyone not have the weekend! Funny, right. A weekend is common for everyone but not working in the weekends is not common for everyone. The so-called weekend people seem to possess a frenzy of somehow making the weekend interesting. If anyone says, 'I will remain home and enjoy some rest and television,' the weekend (not to be confused with weakened) person says, 'Why are you wasting your weekend?' as if the weekend is a commodity! Duh. One looks forward to the weekend but when finally the week actually ends, there is the question of not wasting it!

Sometimes, I have also wished my friends and readers a happy weekend but hence forth, I would rather say, Enjoy your day. 

So, dear reader, are your weekends 'happy and not wasted?' How do you view this concept of weekends?

Image 1: Internet
Image 2: Internet

Adults and estimation of time

It all starts when one has kids. Well, you don't have to have your own kids, cousins, aunt's kids will also serve the purpose. Ever noticed that while walking with kids, they tend to ask: "How much more should we walk?" And pat comes the kind reply: "We will be there in a minute" or "We've almost reached." Now whenever the poor child asks the question, we tend to give the same reply. The innocent kid who always trusts, nods sadly. Adults don't intentionally lie but pacify the kid assuring him/her that the distance is not too much. Legitimate.

Now what is a bit puzzling is that even with adults, some people resort to the same behaviour. Take for example, returning calls. If someone tell that she/he will call in ten minutes, nine out of ten will never call in ten minutes. If one calls back and politely demands why the call wasn't returned, the answer one gets is something like this: "I said ten minutes. You are very impatient. Don't act like a child." But it is past twenty minutes. How do we account for this estimation of time at the other end?

More than being callous, some individuals give an estimated time that crosses their mind at that precise time. They don't ever think beyond that particular situation. Similarly, the numbers two and five are very popular with people. The expression, "Give me five minutes" or "Give me two seconds" is quite common. If you haven't noticed this, please do so. You will be surprised at the number who use the numbers mentioned above, of course without sticking to the specified number in time. Five minutes will always be twenty and two seconds will always be five minutes. So much so.

Time is relative. Agreed. But when it comes to others' time, it is precious. One cannot take unsolicited liberties with other people's time. While giving a time limit, it is better we try to stay with it.

So, what's your take on estimating time.

Image: Internet

Being courteous in Blogland

Courtesy whether in the real or virtual world is quite welcome and appreciated. In the blogland, especially, since one does not have the opportunity to see the reader face-to-face, courtesy becomes the signature of our personality in addition to the posts we write.

Personally I like it when the comments that I make in other blogs are acknowledged. A simple 'Thank-You' or a few lines in reply to my comment is well appreciated. Having the habit of returning to the blog once I make a comment, I get very disappointed when my comment is not acknowledged. Now I can understand when there are a multitude of comments; the blogger cannot acknowledge each and every single individual and so a common 'Thank-You' note which includes the names of the individuals who wrote comments is a noteworthy sign.

I quite like visiting people who take time to reply to my comments and thus an effective dialogue is carried on between the two parties. I remember instances when I decided that I will never visit blogs which do not write a return comment to my comment. And trust me, I have not visited those places again.

If a reader has visited your blog for the first time and left a comment, courtesy demands that I welcome the reader and appreciate the time taken to visit my blog. This creates a personal rapport with the fellow-blogger. Better still it would be nice to visit the blog of that individual and write a few lines of appreciation.

I must proudly admit that the readers that visit my blog are quite courteous and liberal with their comments and insights. I have learnt many valuable lessons from a few of them who take time, care and thought to write down their honest insights on the post. I do not want to name them one by one, but I definitely appreciate their presence here.

The virtual world is a faceless remote land and when one's presence is acknowledged it makes a great difference. Connecting with readers through comments is the only mode of communication and dialogue so why not strive for it.

Finally blog awards are something which make the blogger's day. Even though I don't much enjoy the tagging and other extended aspects, I do like the blogger who spends time and gives away awards (though I seldom do it).

My readers are welcome to add to this list of courtesies and I know that you would have a lot to say . . .

Picture courtesy: Internet

When life-lines stood still . . .

Have you ever been stranded in a crowded train with unfamiliar bodies touching you and that almost you fainted with the breath from a stranger's face. Well, this is what happened to me at about 10 in the morning. I will not say that I have never been in a situation as this but then it has been sometime now that incidents as these occurred.

Railways here are known as the 'lifelines of the country.' They are the legacy that the coloniser left behind and one of the many things that most people don't complain about (the other thing that they don't complain about is the English language). Hmmmm, ok now to the stranded tales of woe. As we got our tickets, we also got to know that was some problem and the trains were not plying. We decided to anyway wait for the train and finally saw a train approaching. We did not get it. It was packed like a tin of sardines. We waited for the next train and also managed to get in only to realise that the train that looked a bit okay from the outside was packed. We were literally pushed inside. I was happy as I did not have to hold anywhere. 


Then it started . . . breath, stories, ring-tones, conversations et al pushed on to you. One was forced to overhear mobile conversations, jokes about being in the papers the next day, permission from office as the train was delayed, curses, fights -- All the aforementioned had the same topic -- that the train was packed and the passengers were stranded in one of the stations.


We decided to get out. Very difficult. We managed. The station was swarmed with people looking morose and angry. No one knew why the trains stopped. We were not alerted. This is the way it is in Chennai. We accept everything and do nothing. I was thinking that if the same had occurred in certain other places, they would have demanded to know the reasons and people would have fought for their rights. But here, we love peace and harmony. We just carry on even if the life-lines snap. After all we are peace-lovers and will remain so!!!