We are TEN today!

Milestones are always a reason to be happy even if I am the lone one celebrating the same. On this day, in 2008, I had started out the space - A space of my own to store my thoughts, meanderings and reflections. The name did not take long to materialise unlike the thought of keeping this wee space alive and throbbing. Many times, I have been tempted to shut down this blog for I felt that I wasn't giving it much attention. I'm glad that I did not!

As always, I pledge to write regularly, to keep my thoughts safe and freeze them for posterity.

Leaving you with some of my memorable posts:

1. When the house lizard signifies 'home'

2. Forgiving and Forgetting . . . I could add a clause there

3. What stuff is humour made of?

4. Working hard to reverse stereotypes

5. The Journey - A Conversational Post

Here's to many more!

Thanks for sharing the journey of my meanderings and reflections. Hope we continue to travel together in the days and years to come.

Keep visiting!

Love, Sex and Growing Up

Today while watching the 1961film, Splendor in the Grass, directed by Elia Kazan ( Yes, he directed the hot Brando in The Streetcar Named Desire), I was wondering how the film holds relevance today, much like what it used to in the 20th century. The film largely deals with sexual repression, mental illness, Christian values, and other related aspects of growing up. Bud and Deanie are high-school sweethearts who enjoy a cosy relationship. While Bud would like to have sex with his girlfriend, Deanie resists, in spite of feeling the same for Bud. She owes this largely to the value system and the concept of being 'pure,' which is drilled into her psyche by her mother and the society in general.

I could closely relate to the film because when I was growing up, things were quite similar to the that of 1961. Every teen fellowship that I attended in Church emphasised of being 'pure' which is being a virgin and keeping the wedding bed undefiled. EVERY. SINGLE. CHURCH. MEETING. My aunts, as soon as I attained puberty would regale how every girl should be like 'fire' and not allow any guy to touch her. Somehow the idea that every boy was evil was drilled into my head. It was okay to fall in love but make sure that the boy in question does not touch you, was the common sentiment. I guess it is no much different today. In school, the couples in love who sat with an arm's distance from each other were always held up high on a pedestal. And if by chance, anyone tried talking about how the kiss of last evening, she would be labelled as a 'forward' girl - whatever that meant.

Teacher, priests, aunts, parents, even peers were always advising on how boys were mean creatures who have been sent by the devil to seduce and corrupt the girl. In the entire picture, it was conveniently forgotten that girls had the same feelings as well. Both the sexes were battling a thousand diverse feelings of passion and desire. In the film, Bud is quite exasperated and frustrated when Deaney does not allow him to go beyond kissing; He slowly withdraws from her in spite of loving her immensely. His father also advises him that he should have two kinds of girls - one the good kind like Deaney and the other - the one who would sleep with him without any qualms. Bud does that precisely but cannot two time Deaney and so breaks up with her, driving her to an institution for the mentally challenged.

The film in passing mentions Freud whose experiments on the connection between human psychology and sex made great breakthrough in the 20th c.  The film knits together various aspects of love and sex in a beautifully written story. Watching the film, I was led on a rueful journey through my teenage years and the various incidents colouring those times. While no one spoke of practising kindness, compassion and the virtues of knowledge, sex without being named was the preoccupation of every adult and of course, every teenager.

I hope the times are gradually changing now and parents strive to have healthy conversation with their children about various topics that affect them as they step into the turbulent teens.

I quote lines from the film, from the poem Splendour in the Grass (also the name of the film) by William Wordsworth:

What though the radiance

 which was once so bright

 Be now for ever taken from my sight,

 Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass,

 We will grieve not, rather find
of glory in the flower,

 Strength in what remains behind;

 . . .

Image 1: Internet

Image 2: Internet

In search of 'What is my passion?'

If you have seen the 2014 film Whiplash, you will understand what true passion is - passion that consumes your time, thoughts and almost everything you live for. I have seen many people having such passion - something that they live for (and sometimes also die for). I hope you have not mistaken passion for romantic passion in this context. I am not even thinking of that, though, I cannot deny that that passion also consumes the individual.

After watching that film, I asked R, ''Do you know what is your passion?'' to which he did not have a logical answer and as I was questioning him, I was also asking myself - ''What IS my passion?" A passion that I could live and die for, a passion that consumes me and a passion that fills my vacant hours. I could not think of anything. I was distressed for after all, everyone has that one passion which keeps them alive and going. I tried to think of many attributes that have defined me through the years but alas! I could not put my finger to the ONE passion and exclaim - I can devote my entire life to this one!

I had imagined that I liked reading and that it was my passion but then reading is a hobby and a life-line, not something which can be defined as passion. Then, I thought travelling and then realised that it was something that I liked intermittently. Teaching? Nah. I like interacting with young and curious minds but passion, no! Writing, perhaps. I dwelt a bit longer on this but could not convince myself to say, ''Yes, writing is my passion.'' But I don't write all that much. I have strong memories of a well-watered and nourished blog but that is a lovely memory now. I used to scribble in my journal - The journal remains albeit with blank pages . . . I could go on and on about my terrible failing when it came to writing but I hold myself and stop.

I am still searching for my passion. Even today morning, I had a conversation with my sister about the passion of doing something consistently and getting a high inspite of doing it every single day. We blamed boredom and laughed away our lack of passion for anything.

I am still not done. I feel like an inadequate work in progress which has some vital piece missing. There are days when the search consumes me and there are other days when I hardly think about any such piece. But here I am, painfully aware of that passion.

A kiss is just a kiss

This post has been itching to escape into the blog ever since it has been stifling in the crevices of my mindscape and I wonder why I have imprisoned it for so long. So, today, I've given a solace to the itch by applying a potion in the form of writing the post! I have always longed to devote a post to THE KISS and not the kiss that every one gives everyone but the special passionate ones that are employed to many forms of expressing love and extreme fondness in the name of lust. Well, a kiss definitely gets it started and suspends time and place. And for people like me growing up in the 90s, a kiss was as scandalous as sex itself and it was one of those forbidden pleasures that made us yearn for them on TV shows.

 

 

I remember awaiting those 'kisses' in the 'foreign' (read English) films when first Metro channel came about in the 90s. And, of course, the after kiss 'scenes' would also be eagerly anticipated but alas! they were denied to keen watchers by the censor boards who chose to not corrupt the young and fiery minds of productive youngsters like me. Well, we waited patiently for those passionate kisses and were rewarded by many during our growing up years. So much so that I even thought that a kiss is fatal enough to make one pregnant! I cannot digest my naiveté and today I wonder whether innocence of that sort was actually possibly imaginable!

 

 

I remember the famous TV program of those years, Guinness Book of World Records ended with a kiss and I would wait with bated breath to just watch that brief kiss. Ah, what thrill it gave me to imagine a kiss. I even shared the vital piece of information with a friend who also waited for that 'kissey' ending.

 

 

And it is for all the above mentioned reasons and more that the film, Cinema Paradiso is a film that is very close to my heart. For those who have seen the film, you will understand the connection between kisses and the film. For those who haven't seen it yet, here you go: The small boy Toto is fascinated by films and spends a lot of time at the cinema house  with Alfredo, the projectionist. But the films have many missing scenes - kissing and embracing scenes which are cut, following the instructions of the local priest. Many years pass by and  Toto is a successful director and comes to his village after a long time to attend the funeral of Alfredo. Alfredo's wife gives Toto something that Alfredo had left behind for him and it is a reel that is a montage made of all the deleted 'kiss' scenes and as Toto watches that he cannot stop thinking of his growing up years and Alfredo. That scene from the film is something that will never ever leave my mind. It is a wonderful mash of memories, desire and nostalgia. And every time I see Cinema Paradiso, I can't stop thinking about my tryst with kisses.

 

 

 

 

P. S. I still love kisses the same way as I used to then but no longer await those passionate kiss scenes like yore!

Images 1 & 2: Shutterstock
Image 3: Internet

Stringing a beady tale with love

Personal stories of success always are a wonder to narrate and here I am with one such tale which I admire and choose to share with you.

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When Sridevi in the film, English Vinglish informs the class that she makes laddus and sells them, by way of introducing herself, she is lauded as an Entrepreneur. That scene was an AHA moment in the film. I'm sure that scene touched many a chord and left one teary-eyed. 

This is a tale of one such entrepreneur, who left her job with a leading Luxury group when she had a soul call. Most often a soul call doesn't happen twice and Archana Avinash of Strings & Beads was wise enough to heed that call and follow its direction. Thus began the soulful and beautiful journey of Strings and Beads - Handmade precious and semi-precious jewellery using gemstones, Tibetan silver and silver. This was in Qatar, Middle-east in circa 2011!

Archana's love and attraction to jewellery especially heavy, chunky statement pieces naturally enabled her to begin Strings & Beads. Hailing from a family where all the women did some kind of hand work, Archana says that she genetically and naturally had to use her hands to create something that she enjoyed doing and also that fetched her money. Archana says, "My Grand-mom used to sketch, stitch and do lovely embroidery. My Mom went on her mom and till date stitches some of the most gorgeous clothes and bags. So Jewelry happened very naturally to me. I loved stones and started putting things together. I started with stretch bracelets, then I worked around simple necklaces and finally came earrings."

Like most personal ventures, Archana also faced disappointment and financial constraints in the initial days after starting S & B as she quit a job that paid handsomely. But she had her heart and soul into Strings & Beads. There were exhibitions she did in the Middle East (Qatar) where she didn't sell a piece. But thanks to her friends-- her only clients then who picked all that they liked and encouraged her. Having a supportive and wonderful husband also was her great pillar of strength. In Archana's own words, "A shoulder to cry and a crazy pal when we celebrated successes."

 Archana's medium of work in the beginning was limited to glass beads and metal. Eventually, her liking for Silver increased and also did her love for Gemstones. She came across tarot and Crystals about a year after she began S & B. She saw some amazing results for S & B with the crystals and that's when she went on to learn Tarot card reading and Crystal Healing. Now a practitioner and a designer, she is able to bring about an amazing balance with Aesthetics and Metaphysics.

She procures her beads from around the world from suppliers approved by GIA (Gemological institute of America) and her Silver are all handmade in India and Nepal.

The greatest challenge she faces are the copiers in the market. People come to her to learn the art and begin something by themselves and have even tried stealing her clients. But Archana is quite happy that she has many clients who have also become her friends and family standing by her.

 Archana has come a long way since she began her journey before 2.5 years and the sailing hasn't been quite smooth. But what she has understood is that inspite of many copiers out there, they really don't live long. And as Archana rightly mentions, "True creativity cannot be contained. It is something each one is born with and that which you end up nurturing."

And thus Archana nurtured her soul call and here we are with beautiful strings and beads! In early 2013 Archana shifted to Chennai and since then her journey has been functioning from the South of India to many countries in the world. One visit to her Facebook page leaves you sighing and wishing that you owned atleast one S & B piece of jewellery.

Archana has been showcasing her work in different venues in Chennai and recently exhibited her work entitled, Madras Memoirs in the 11th edition of By Hand, From the Heart, the market place for hand made stuff from South India.

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Postscript: Written for the Indiblogeshwaris Ladies Independence Special Contest in association with Women Entrepreneurs in India

All images are from Strings & Beads Facebook page.

I challenge you to get angry in style

Last night I was watching Casino Royale and reminiscing about the old Bond Sean Connery. Casino Royale is the only recent Bond movie I have seen. I haven't seen any of Brosnan's Bond flicks. Well, I am not here to enlighten you about my history of viewing Bond films but rather a completely unrelated subject which ticked me while watching Craig in action in Montenegro.

There is a scene where Bond seems to be losing money in the Casino and gets completely annoyed. He hurriedly goes to the bar and orders a drink. When the bartender asks him, "Shaken or Stirred?" Bond answers something like, "Whatever dammit" in a very angry and roguish tone. The most stylish and suave agent has lost his cool in a very unstylish manner. Well, that is what triggered this post. Can anyone manage to get angry and yet keep his/her style? While courting a prospective partner, one can be very stylish and wax eloquence but while getting angry, the elan is lost and the speech reveals the person. The same mouth that spouts words of love and verse in grace can curse with an equally strong passion.

One can be passionate about wearing make-up and of course can carry it well while eating, sleeping and even making love but when one gets angry, one just cannot take care whether the lipstick is swallowed while spitting out angry words and whether the hair-do is in place while literally boxing down the rival party.

Uncouth words, poisoned glances, banging the doors/utensils can never even be done in style. Come on, James Bond cannot do it, how can others even try doing so. Probably that's why anger is seen as a potent force that can destroy one's interior and exterior health.

Can you ever think of anyone who has gotten angry in style?

Image: Internet