Thursday 14 October 2010

Things no one will tell you

There are some situations in life which come to us headlong and we have to tackle it first-hand. For instance, today, someone very close to me bought some eatables with great love but since I did not want to eat, I refused the food item. The person felt quite offended. I did not know how to react or respond to the situation. I felt small. These kind of things are something that no one can explain to us before hand. One has to be in that situation and learn.

Another instance like that is the issue of people (people always confuse us in different ways). There are some individuals whom you like and some you don't. But there is another category: Those whom we don't like or hate. I would call these people, "the ones in the grey area." In life, no one prepares you for the "grey" people. We learn at a very young age about dualities: good and evil; love and hate, etc., but what about those in between. I can never fathom how to deal with the grey areas. I let them be. Rather, let them rest.

Similarly, early in life we also learn that there are some people who are friends and only one person is a lover. But as one advances in age, there are grey areas where the boundary between a friend and a lover always seem hazy and clouded. No one tells you about all these things. We have to figure them out by ourselves. 

Sometimes the whole process of life seems like a journey of trials and errors. We grope, search and wonder about things which we think are strange and confusing. But is it really that way? Or is it the 21st century with all its trappings and pseudo-realities which confound our sensibilities? I am sure that whatever we experience are "twice removed from reality and a shadow of shadows," as quoted by Aristotle. But still we feel that the experience is unique to us! Irony and paradox, thy name is Life!

Well, what do you  have to say on this?

Image: Internet


  1. Oh, I agree.;) And definitely recognize the dilemma of the line between a friend and a lover.;)
    At times I feel that things appeared somehow more clear to me me when I was younger. Thigns were simple. Perhaps as I saw things in black and white.
    The older I get, there is definitely more grey areas in my life and I wonder if I ever figure any of it out.;) As nothing is really simple anymore.
    Have a lovely day dear Susan,

  2. My dear Su,

    That was some post that pasted a smile on my face for the entire day today :) Grey people ;) Lover-fried!! twice removed from reality, reminds me to brush up my plato and aristotle alike

    I tell you we'll be experts in tact by the time we are 90..

    But what to do with ppl who come with us with so much love and we feel absolutely not even an L for them!

    A bemused but delighted Ash
    Hugs babes and have a wonderful time under those few trees

  3. Life is too be experienced --- one can only do that by throwing the book or manual out the window,

    A nice quote from Kierkegaard, "Life can only be understood backwards."

    Have a wonderful day and gather a friend -- a gray one -- a lover, or even just yourself, and
    "Sit together and drink
    the blue ocean,
    and eat the sun
    like a fruit"

    Warm hugs,

  4. Interesting observations Susan, the layers of life.

    I think as you grow thru life you will find your thoughts and opinions will evolve. You will shift and change and handle situations differently. Somewhere along the way I learned how to deal with these 'grey' issues/people. I had to let go (subtly) and tune in to my surroundings a bit more.

    Think 'energy'. Start with the people and places that deplete it, let go and focus on what brings light into your life. It can be a hard thing to do but it makes all the difference in the end. Communications skills are very important here.

    Your right, no one tells you about these just becomes a matter of fine tuning your skills which I can see already you are well on your way :)

    Wrap yourself in the layers that keep you warm and filled with love and shed the ones that leave you chilly...:))

    My two cents for what it is worth! I am sure I went off topic here too..but that happens as you age as well ;)

    Best wishes to my lovely friend in Inida..

    jeanne xxx

  5. oh i agree...dont know that we ever complately figure out this life...though i will say i am not sure experience is the best teacher as some of those grey areas are landmines that once they go off (or you experience it) they can be pretty devastating...

  6. Things are much simpler when we're children. All the people in the world are neatly divided into old and young, friends and non-friends, good and bad..

    But then, these notions change as we grow up..people are nice to other people just coz they need the other person's help, even friendship becomes conditional, so the "friend" and "best friend" of childhood morphs into the more complex hierarchy of "Real friend", "best friend", "school friend", "friend coz I have to see her everyday and I need her help" and so on..

    The grey areas just keep getting bigger and bigger..

  7. I guess life is full of grey areas and dark ones too. But it's great that you're questioning things. You'll find your own answers. I think we all must. But keep asking, the Universe will respond.

  8. Dear Susan,

    Thank you very much for this favourable comment setting. Now I can visit you and read to comment your insightful blog as this one.

    Your words are truly reflective that one can contemplate enough of the same predicament that you experienced.

    Once, my eldest daughter blamed me for raising them as "goody-goody" kids omitting the basic knowledge that the world outside their nest is cruel. I was dumbfounded and could not think of a word to say.

    When I recomposed myself, I said, "I leave it to you to decipher because I did not want to ingrain your mind and impugn your innocence with negative vibes regarding things outside our shell."

    My girls received teachings from the church as back-ups to what I taught them. That if we get ourselves educated and we become "learned persons" no one will ever DECEIVED us.

    I let them developed their faculty of judgment of right and wrong. I was of course touched by the observation of my daughter.

    The essence of this thought has brought me back memories of some confronting times with my daughters.

    Grey areas is one fitting figure of speech for this matter.

    Thanks for your patience and support.

  9. ...there are no such thing as 'real friends' or 'grey friends or folks' in the world we live... friends are friends no matter what... just simply imagined them as 'CRAYONS'-they colour our lives... we do have favorites right?! one may like the color of this crayon more than the others... but still, at the end of each day... somewhere in our lives, as we go on through, you'll need each of those 'CRAYONS' to complete your picture... enemies and friends, both plays a vital role in shaping an individual...(^^)b...



  10. I believe as we advance in age, things become clearer with less confusion and less grey areas. We have our Life experience to lean on - that's the best teacher.

    Thanks for a very interesting post.

  11. Oh yeah, the lines are clearly blurred in every aspect of life...
    With age a few lines become clearer, most of them still remain hazy though.

  12. Nice post.

    People in grey do you describe things like that. You amaze me.

  13. Damn shades of grey. I spend most of my life trying to figure out how to handle such people/situations. As much as we want things to be that simple, things never are. Sigh. Reality bite. Love your perception :)

  14. Zuzana:

    Apart from sharing similar names, we have many things in common. Would love to meet you someday and have a soulful conversation :) Much love always.


    90! I say not even 90. Life is a process which goes on and on. Hugs back to you dear Ash. Hearing the rain and thinking of you.

  15. Joanny:

    I love what you have expressed here. And the quote, reminds of Benjamin Button. "Drink the blue ocean and eat the sun
    like a fruit" -- These words so warmed me being. Thanks Joanny.

    Warm hugs back to you from India.


    The layers of life never cease to unpeel. I thought ENERGY and it is wonderful. I would love to be a synonym for energy! Thanks for your lovely and insight filled words dear Jeanne. They come out of the depths of experience :)

  16. Brian:

    Another thought here. I am thinking . . .


    So true. As children we never thought about anything. We were far too busy playing. But now we do play, but we play with thoughts, mid and life --- and that is the problem! The grey areas get more grey and complex.

  17. Myrna:

    Can't be more true. And I think that with every grey area, there is an answer lurking somewhere. We only have to aware and conscious.


    A warm hug to you. So happy to see you after a long long time. Hope all is well with you. How is your daughter now? Would love to know!!!

  18. Kelvin:

    Your world sounds great. Where is it? You are one lucky soul. The idea of crayons sound so much fun. Nice way of looking, dear Kelvin. Thanks for lighting up my day!


    True. But what is the cut-off age?

  19. Sam:

    Glad to see you after long. Hope you are well and happy. Should swing over to your new blog soon :)


    Don't work too hard, Mridula. Life goes on. Sigh! Have a fantastic weekend :)

  20. Joy, you are talking about relationships. relationships are complicated, noone can ever prepare us for something so complex. Everything in life is a relationship (work, countries, school, friends, lovers) and the more personal the more mindblowing they become.
    There are people I love when I see them...then when I dont I remember things I dont like about them (mostly things that are dishonest about them), I call those grey people.
    I guesss if it were all that cut and dry, simply and easy it would be a boring existence, dont you think?

  21. This post : Such things we face and find it difficult to tackle.

    Previous post : I will appreciate ur view point and incidences narrrated in the post 'The other side of life.'

  22. oh dear it is definitely a series of trail and error for me. I am so forgetful that I have actually encounterd such grey people before. Because each situation is unqiue, I simply forgot how I handled them before... bird brain!!!:(

  23. Myriam:

    Relationships, people---everything. It would be a boring existence, right but we spend so much time and energy on thoughts about the different kinds of people.


    Thanks for your kind words. Nice to see you here, CS.


    You are lucky to forget those people. You must be one happy person!
    Joy always :)

  24. I think we need the experience of life to distinguish between the greys.
    With food, however, I accept, as it is the polite thing to do, and throughout the majority of western cultures a refusal is seen as a slap in the face.

  25. Dear Angie:

    Life teaches us everything . . . albeit very late. But I had to refuse as the person was very close to me. One should understand, don't you think?

  26. I'm visiting your blog for first time, and I find it quite interesting. I like your reflections. Although I have to confess that your QR code was what caught my attention. I was testing my QR reader :-)


  27. Doris:

    Welcome here. Thanks for taking the time to comment. Hope to see more of you in the coming days.

    Joy always :)



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