Romanticising the term 'single mom'

After a lovely break from the routine humdrum of my usual life, I am back to blogging and reading blogs. Among the many things that surfaced from the break, one was the fruitful discussions I had with my girlfriend V. I was telling her how the tag 'single mom' is almost used like an occupation/job. One of the contestants in a popular reality show is a single mom and while every other contestant is introduced as SK, 37, Entrepreneur; RK, 26, Lawyer and so on, one contestant was introduced as WE, 29, Single mom. Now I was baffled. Why was WE introduced as a single mom and not by her profession. Is being a single mom another profession or is the media romanticing the term, single mom.

Viewing many programmes in the telly, I observe that there are many single moms who are often introduced with the term single mom. While there are single dads as well, they are never referred to as single dad. Are we as a society raising single moms to a pedestal and while we are secretly happy that we are better off, are we trying to pseudo-sympathise with the moms who are single. Why should the term even be used? Agreed that single moms are doing everything single-handedly but why choose that tag?

It is not enough that being a woman itself invites many troubles (not everywhere but atleast in India where harrassment/teasing/stereotyping/discrimination is quite rampant), the added burden of being a single mom and also romanticing it is a bit unwarranted for. But it should be noted that the single mom tag is mostly used in cases where the woman is divorced. What about women who are widowed? Even they are single moms, raising kids without a man and also bearing the brunt of bringing up children in a society which can be quite taxing on various aspects of life. And, there are men who are divorced who sometimes get the custody of children but do not carrying the tag/label of single dads. Why?

It's strange that on one hand we love to hate stereotypes but on the other, we also tend to glorify a certain gender for doing something which is not as great as it is made out to be.

I certainly wish that the term single mom is not used as a professional tag for in the world that adores equality (atleast it professes to be), the term seems quite inappropriate.

And, it would be wonderful to hear your thoughts on this.

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Contemplations on Flatulence aka fart

Human beings have different interesting dimensions to them. One of them is the way an individual responds/reacts to sounds. One such sound is that of the fart. It is a natural process in which a person releases intestinal gas. Well, a process as harmless as a fart is something that evokes different responses from people. I have always been interested in these expressions that always remain unnoticed and unspoken.

Kids, especially, are quite thrilled when they hear the sound of a fart. They don't see any strings attached to the sound and the smell. Things like etiquette, politeness and formality does not matter to them but they do realise that the one who releases gas is an object of fun. One has to be careful for the kids harmlessly rattle away the statistics of the sound giving importance to the after-effects of the same.

I have seen (and heard) older people who don't restrict themselves when they have the need to release gas. They do so effortlessly without any reaction. As kids, we tried hard to supress our laughter when we heard a fart. But why does a simple act of releasing gas evoke so much laughter and fun. Is it the sound or the smell or the fact that the sound is released from a very unlikely place. Why is it that a burp and a hiccup is not seen as funny as a fart or a snore? On that note, farts and snores are the most laughed at sounds made by the human.

And how did a fart get into the notes for etiquette. Why is it not proper to fart in public? If one can sneeze and cough, why not fart? Especially with women, farting is a vice with a capital V. A fart by a woman is worthy enough to be the fodder for gossip. Why? I don't understand this fascination with farting. Just ignore and carry on. Why does one need to supress sniggers, look away and pretend to keep a straight face.

And to add to the facts and figures, we have farts that are common to a specific community and as all tall tales begin, this one begines like this: You know people from x community are always farting, no matter where and when. Who thought culture would intervene here. Maybe, it's the food habits of a specific community.

I don't know what more to think and say. You tell me.

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Gender appeal and blogging

I have often wondered whether the gender matters while one chooses to follow/read a blog. For me, it has not been so but sometimes I do think that seeing a pretty/handsome face in the wee About me space makes the blog content more appealing. I certainly think that for some individuals, gender appeal certainly exists while blog-surfing. I can even say that following a particular girl's/guy's blog is the new form of virtual flirting.

Now what makes me think so, you wonder. I have seen many of my cousins' blogs where the content is not something which I can write home about but the followers . . . uhmmm. I could see all the guys who were flirting with her follow her blog. And my cousin is in her early 20s. Well, I thought it was only young people who were so but I have also seen many young men/women who flock to the blogs where there are cute profile pictures. Whether the pictures are fake or not, I don't know.

Blogs also pave way for getting to know a prospective partner, maybe. By becoming a follower, one can assess the content of the blog and hence the personality of the writer. One should know that these people who follow blogs using the gender appeal mode seldom read the entire posts; they are quite happy reading the titles and hence assuming what the content would be and also the writer.

For those who thought blogging was something for the closet writer to find a page, well, you have to look around. Blogging and following has many strings attached. I hope one does not get tangled.

On that note, if you have a funny bone, check out the website genderanalyzer.com to find out if a blog is written by a man or a woman.

Gender appeal, anyone?

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Expecting changes

I have just returned from a class. The students seemed to be in a hazy state of mind and looked at me blankly when I posed a question to them. The question was: What are you expecting from this year? Save one student, all the others stared at me as if I had committed a great earth-shaking blunder. Well, I was completely amazed. One student even told me: I expect nothing. Well, here I am trying to be as normal as possible after coming back from a two-week break and putting on my best smile and trying to initiate a conversation.

Sometimes it so happens that every day passes off as something similar. A new year is not seen as something to look forward to and it passes off as boringly as the other days. I guess it's very easy to be cynical and try acting as if nothing matters. It does take an effort to expect something with the breaking of another new year. Afterall, we are getting another chance to repair the past where things weren't as favourable. Maybe everything was perfect in the bygone year and hence one does not feel the need to expect anything.

There were years when I was a cynical being. Trying to be a killjoy when someone announced a birthday or a new year wish. I completely wiped the joy that was vibrating from the individual. He/she was subject to my theories of nonsense and only after I released my dose of vitriol, would I let that person go. Now, when I look back, I regret those moments and times when cynicism took hold of me. That is precisely what happens when one reads too much of newspaper. Then one day, I stopped being cynical. I started seeing the joy that these moments bring. A new year is a gift. It is definitely an opportunity to start afresh. It is a time to again pick up those bits of us which have been neglected, overlooked and abused.

Coming back to my class. I didn't want to bore my students on the morning of my first class with them, by giving them a lecture on how to expect something from the year and making it happen. Well, they will know when they have to know. Time is a great teacher, isn't it?

So, what do you think?

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Looking forward to 2012

This year has been quite eventful in every sphere of my life, I should say. For the first time in my life, I got chicken-pox; After years of toiling, I submitted my Ph.D thesis and I also willingly gave up my single-hood. Well, the aforementioned were the highlights, if I may say so but there there have been other aspects of the year which gave life a wholesome effect. Blogplicity, an interactive blogging community gave me lovely blogger pals and their blogs, this year.

Looking back, I am older than last year and younger than what I will be next year but that has not hindered any process and progress, of course, I have changed my moisturizers and lotions. I have lost touch with people with whom I used to correspond and interact when 2011 began. I do miss them but then life had other paths which were already carved out, for me and them. They will always be on my mind and I wish them good health, prosperity, wholesome life and above all joy in every sphere of their lives.

Learned to compromise in a big way and also learnt that compromise is the only way in which life can go on without much breakdowns. Well, I don't like that word now. It irks me: COMPROMISE.

Reading the variety of blogs that are littered over blogland, I realise how much topics are out there and how much is left to explore. I must say that 2011 has been a boom time for many blogs. Well, well,  . . .

For the first time, I was stranded in a train while the cyclone Thane passed. When I read of the many deaths and destruction caused by the cyclone in today's paper, I realise the intensity of the situation.

I don't know whether I have become wiser this year but I know for sure that life is full of surprises (perhaps, shocks) and those arrive at a time when one least expects them. And that the phrase, 'I have moved on,' and 'Move on with life' is quite overrated. Even some institutions which have been held dear by many are quite overrated. Well, some people don't realise that truth. Good for them. A little funny for people on the other side, like me, for instance.

The world has lost many artists that have coloured my growing up years. Though their deaths didn't affect me personally, I do miss their presence in this world. That they lived in the same world as me gave me solace. But now they are no more. Maybe good for them to have escaped this life.

Inspite of everything, the new year holds promises and new beginnings and I look forward to it with the same child-like pleasure of my early years. The new year does have something, isn't it. William Arthur Ward is just right when he said:

“Another fresh new year is here .
. .
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!

This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest . . .
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best!

I have the opportunity
Once more to right some wrongs,
To pray for peace, to plant a tree,
And sing more joyful songs!” 

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Wishes for the season

Dear Readers:

It has been wonderful to interact with you in the past eleven months. I will be away for about ten days now and shall see you just before the year comes to an end. But before I leave, I leave you with best wishes for this lovely season. 

 

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