Wednesday 4 June 2014

Grey regions and vaccum

I defended my Ph. D. thesis on the 2nd of June. One of my friends who attended the proceedings remarked, "You took the announcement of the degree quite calmly. You didn't seem to be overwhelmed and did not cry and all. Why?" I honestly did not know how to respond to his rather strange yet familiar question. I had imagined the situation several times in my head and every time, the scene had tears and melodrama. But in reality, when the announcement was made, I was calm and blank. I did not smile much as well. The feelings were similar when I had submitted my thesis three years ago. I knew and experienced the feeling of great moments which arrive and go quietly, without much ado. I also remember feeling the same while getting married. In fact, the excitement of the Ph. D. defense was a few degrees more than the wedding. 

I often try to understand the philosophy of getting excited and jumpy but I am unable to grasp it entirely. I do get excited, perhaps when the radio plays my favourite number or perhaps when Chennai Super Kings win a match. Sometimes, very rarely, suprises make me sqeal with delight. I don't much like surprises! Shopping for silver makes me happy and excited as well. But bigger moments like death, earning an accolade and such sink in gradually and smoothly. They fail to create any furore or waves. They stay and allow me to savour the whole episode in sparks when I least expect them. For example, when I switch the desktop and see a file titled, "Ph. D," on the screen, I pause and ponder about the journey and then when I shift to Facebook, the feeling evaporates. Then, when I talk to someone and suddenly they call me Dr, I savour the word. It passes. I move on. Then again while I least expect, the wave hits only to leave me in a short while. These joys are strange. You know that they rightly belong to you and that it has been earned by you but still you refuse to allow the victory to make you completely ecstatic.

A vaccum fills me as I will no longer unleash stories of how my Ph. D. viva-voce exam has not happened after three long years. Boy, I am a Dr now! (Smiles).

Cheers, dear reader. Raise a toast for me.

Image 1: Internet
Image 2: Internet


  1. Hugs!! and congratulation once again :)

  2. Congrats Dr. Susan you truly inspire us :) All the very best for greater joys :)

  3. Congratulations hearty one...wish you were near...would have celebrated the Doctorate with what some good wine and some lovely togetherness and perhaps would've narrated my finished the Thesis but could not proceed further story. But sure feel happy for you. So what next...ur sign board going to read Dr Susan Deborah now...
    Okay whatever but accept my cheers and happiness...and pls visit me on my blog. Now i am posting with my self taken pictures...have a look Susaanah...

  4. And raising a toast I am. Many many congratulations Dr. Susan! :)

  5. With my first coffee of Wednesday May 4, 2014, it is YOU I toast, Dr. Susan Debora! Most achievement s have a price tag. You paid the price, those years of patient (or "impatient"?) research, writing, one day after the other. Constant, consistent, persistent work earns the reward.

    I must say humbly that I felt no different AFTER you received your news than before! Well, matbe a little numbness....

  6. Congrats, Dr.Susan Deborah! It must be feeling great to have accomplished the feat. Hugs.

  7. CONGRATULATIONSSSSSSSSssssssssssssss... DR. Sahiba .. Well done

    How are you doing ..


  8. Oh, wow, Susan! A remarkable achievement, indeed! So proud of you, and will certainly raise my glass tonight to a toast in your honor. :)

  9. Congratulations Susan !!!.. very happy for you !

  10. Congrats suits you perfectly. :)

  11. That is impressive news. Congratulations - Doctor.
    Some say the lack of thrill at the end of a goal does not happen because it was really about the journey rather then the finish line. But, still I hope you are proud of yourself that is an accomplishment few achieve. I am proud of you!

  12. I think it is slowly sinking in...Congratulations, Dr.Susan Deborah!



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