Wednesday 15 May 2013

That suffering is a virtue . . .

For a while now, I'm trying to trace patterns that exist in many aspects of the society we live in. One of them is the exaltation of supreme sacrifice and suffering. From the local vegetable vendor to the grand soaps on the telly seem to sending messages that often praise suffering and the need for it in an individual's life. Come to talk of it, I've sensed certain relatives' face falling (albeit not visibly but me being me can pick these unconscious emotions that involuntarily get displayed on one's visage) when they hear the response that "All is well." I wonder why. Perhaps it is the notion that something amiss might happen if one seems to be happy and fulfilled colours the minds of many individuals. I tend to think that being sad and unhappy is but an easy way to live life than be happy and content.

Some time ago, I cannot remember when, I happened to read an article which mentioned that it takes a great deal of beans to be happy and content. The bottom-line - being unhappy is something very easy for the human race. The article baffled me. I always had assumed the opposite:- That being happy is the most natural state of being. I was wrong. After reading that article, I wanted to do the difficult - Being happy in spite of the difficulties that seemed to drown me and boy! it wasn't easy with all those whiners and groaners  around me. I tried and it didn't seem that difficult. But there was a catch: It was swimming against the tide of people who hailed suffering and sadness. That suffering is for a while before the sun comes up is completely lost on some people.


Now, what is the suffering that I speak of? No, I'm not talking about the suffering after the loss of a beloved one or the suffering caused by depression. I'm talking about the daily activities that can be taken in our stride without causing much flutter and ado. I heard an elderly aunt advising her niece - "You should suffer in life, only then you will be happy" and what exactly does this suffering mean - it means doing a lot of work for the entire family in spite of being able to afford a domestic. Well, hard work and sleepless nights are translated as something that will earn brownie points in the latter part of life but isn't it a bit cruel to assume that one has to suffer in order to be happy later.

I have taken a decision that whenever possible, I will choose to be happy. Maybe it is a tall order when one is surrounded by people who seem to think otherwise but still I attempt to preserve my well-being.

My words did not keep pace with my thoughts in this post which would've led to a rambling of sorts. I hope that you pardon me and tell me about the roles of suffering and happiness in your cultural background.

Image: Internet

29 comments:

  1. I think people (at least the ones around me!)chose suffering because they assume that they will inevitably have the suffering transform to karmic happiness later in their life.

    As for me choosing to be happy needs optimism and me being "full blown" pessimist, that choice is hard but I still want to be happy and will work towards it. :)

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    1. Glad that you choose happiness. And I hope CBC plays a wee role in the same ;)

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  2. Susan what you have written makes so much sense. People love to complain and groan about rising prices, pollution, health and what not. I have also done my share of complaining as it comes so easily. Staying cheerful is definitely hard work but not impossible. I think it is a learned behaviour..

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    1. I guess genetically and culturally many are wired that way. Complaining, as you say, is very easy to do and often I'm also guilty of the same. But I'm learning.

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  3. Frankly,I have to make an effort to stay happy. Perhaps there is a 'worry gene' wired in my DNA. But you are right, happiness is a state of mind. To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you have.

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    1. All of us have to take an effort, Alka and you're not alone in the journey. One day at a time . . . slowly and gently.

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  4. So interesting to put this in a cultural context! I have spoken with groups of people in the US about how our culture does not value happiness even though the pursuit of it is protected by our Constitution. There is something "not okay" about being joyful. It makes for an interesting discussion!

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    1. Culture and society plays a very vital role in determining most of the things, Galen. People tend to think that being happy means something is wrong. And, no wonder there are many articles and pages emphasising this topic of happiness.

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  5. I think the kind of 'suffering' people generally talk about is some hard work which pays off in the future..for a job or an exam etc, or saving to buy some costly thing later. But if one really thinks something is going to get them happiness, the chase should be as enjoyable as the outcome. But denying oneself comforts which can be easily afforded is unfair, and so is the type of suffering which people 'bring upon' themselves- like unnecessary politics, ill feelings about others and themselves, That is surely avoidable.

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    1. Maybe. That's hard work, not essentially suffering but the hard work of domestic chores is definitely suffering!

      Hmmmm. Some good points you mention.

      Oh and welcome here, Pranati. Happy to see you here.

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  6. I definitely choose to be happy and take a positive outlook on life. Even when sad things happen, as we recently suffered an unexpected loss in our family, I can still rest with joy in God's promise that He is there with us no matter what. His comfort and reassurance always gets me through.
    And, I believe there is enough suffering in this life whether we're looking for it or not.
    Blessings and love, Susan!

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    1. Oh, tell me about it, Martha. Even without any qualm, suffering is the motto of the world.

      Lots of love to you too :)

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  7. it is interesting to think on...i think often we can come together in our suffering and find commonality...it brings us together as we all have suffered...we just cant live in it...i think it gives us appreciation for what we have...

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    1. True that. You always add a new dimension to my thinking. Thanks for that.

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  8. Hi Susan Deborah!
    You continuously conjure topics of interest, though a bit off the main highway...I'm liking that.

    The culture in which I find myself surrounded runs gamut between here and there, happy, and decidedly unhappy. My observation over four-score years (ahem!) is...a really happy person is usually mistrusted (a liar), feared, considered a rogue, and certainly full of pride.

    Unknowingly by most, pessimism seems to be the norm, people complaining about--well, you name it. I know about suffering, don't have to prove it to anybody. Also I know even the harshest of pain has room for joy in its brief life.

    I believe my comment is well-named as "rambling". Needless to assert, I AM a happy guy, and some acquaintences sure resent it! Maybe they jealous?
    Susan, Love and PEACE.
    Steve

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    1. Steve, and you visiting and commenting is one of the best things otherwise I might feel I'm writing in vacuum. Like you, I'm also a happy individual so now since that makes us two, let's rock the world.

      Love and more love, always :)

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  9. Lately, I don't delve into things deeper than necessary and that gives me my happy place. Thinking too much, attaching too much meaning and simply worrying is draining. I choose to let go of things consciously.

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    1. Wonderful strategy. I've been at it for quite some time, dear Janu. And almost always works.

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  10. Hard-work pays of later, laziness pays off NOW. Yes, this is a quote! What others think on this topic is not as important as what we ourselves think. At the end of the day, we take most of the decisions about our life, right?

    Destination Infinity

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  11. Happiness is a state of mind the human body is designed for. A child like temperament helps to maintain a happy state:)

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    1. I wish it was that easy, Rahul. Great to see you here. Hope all is well with you :)

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  12. I completely agree with you. Somehow, it seems that suffering is sort of considered to be important. I have heard people say that you only realize the true value of something if you suffer for it. Also staying happy is what we all must strive for. Though it is not easy in today's world with so much meanness and bitchiness.Very rarely do you come across someone who is genuinely happy for you. Most are out to make you feel small or smirk at you. Like you pointed out, staying happy should come normally and suffering and sadness must be treated as abnormal. I am with you on this. Thought provoking post, Susan!

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    1. Thanks Rachna for that solidarity. Happy people are the ones to be hanging out with.

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  13. Honestly my scale keeps shifting.. some days, I am at my happiest best and some days I have to struggle to put up a smile. Many people are out there who just want to make you feel miserable but the ultimate goal is to be happy which is I agree not an easy one.

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    1. Absolutely. It does take some conscious effort and determination to remain in a state of being happy.

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  14. aah, i know people who keep saying that only suffering will help you in life. help you with what i ask? i dont want to suffer - i don't want any virtues in the next life, i want a comfortable living in this one! i also know many people who "fake" suffering, if you know what i mean - so that, according to them, other people don't "eye" their happiness!!!

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    1. i don't want any virtues in the next life, i want a comfortable living in this one! EPIC lines. I'm nodding in agreement, sweet mamma.

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  15. Suffering is not a virtue in itself, although it may lead one to become virtuous. In my case I suffer for my art; still, I find happiness in it. :)

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