The sparks between an argument and an ego

This post is dedicated to all the academicians who appear scholarly and wise but let the wisdom fly out of the window (or door) when scholarly arguments arrive.

The past Friday and Saturday saw another successful conference organised by our University. But many a times, it is in these conferences that one can witness the sparks that fly between questions and egos which lead into many years of amusing relationship. So here's the saga of the famous courtship.

The academia has always been viewed as a place of knowledge and wise souls. I don't doubt the existence of knowledge in the academia but I certainly doubt the usage of the accumulated knowledge in the academia.  Shakespeare, in his brilliant plays reveals the many hues and shades of the human temperament in great detail. One might think that teaching Shakespeare will expose one to the follies and foibles of the human temperament and produce individuals who are purged of their petty whims and fancies. Alas! it is not so. There seems to be a strict demarcation between the taught and the lived (the living, in fact) experience.

Raising questions that argue the very nature of the argument is something that I dread. When something is pointed out to a paper-presenter, it is taken as a personal attack. Now, how do I differentiate to them that the criticism is nothing personal but only academic. Well, many have a problem with the word 'criticism' itself.   In spite of everything, I cannot stop asking questions :)

I believed that the church would always be an egalitarian place where fragile egos don't make an appearance but I was proven wrong. Now, even the word criticism is a word that spells potential danger. After getting disillusioned with the people in church, I thought the academia would be a better place than most other institutions. And, I am bitterly disappointed when I see the clamouring for important positions, the inability to handle questions that are directed at papers and the general temperance of threatening glances and words. After all, people are people - academicians or clergy.

So, the courtship between an argument and an ego begins at conferences and goes on until wisdom or time intervenes. Well, the sparks and the meeting can happen anywhere but this particular conference and also the last one I attended in Assam make me think that academia is a fertile place to court many fragile egos.

What do I ask of you, my reader. This time I refrain from prompting a question to direct your thoughts. I leave it to you to comment on any aspect of this post. 

Image 1: Internet
Image 2: Internet

The 'hum' as a potential weapon . . .

I don't know whether you have had to face this situation but in our home, it happens. I can't say whether it is a reflexive action but it sure does get on your nerves. Usually when an argument is going on, my sister starts humming a tune. Now, please don't think that it is a voluntary act. Well, it can be but I'm assuming that it isn't. She starts humming and sometimes even starts singing something. I somehow think that she does this to prove that her point is right by choosing to irritate the other party (read, me). When she starts this humming, a thousand reactions brew within me starting from the violent to x-rated violence. Well, I don't do anything but fume within me.

My sister doesn't stop with a single hum. She hums endlessly. Somehow, I see this humming as different from the pleasant humming. I wonder at how simple acts like humming and singing can be used as a potential weapon for irritating someone. Well, it is not only my sister, there are many others in whom I have observed this action. When there is some argument going on, they either start singing or playing some songs in their mobile, which is extremely annoying.

How many expressions to irritate people in an argument. Now, getting reflective, I might think that the problem lies within me as my mother or any other individual has not chosen to complain about this act of humming and singing. It is only me. Perhaps, there is a live wire in me which reacts when people choose to hum when the situation is not quite fit for humming.

People sometimes sing to mask their fear. While walking in a path that is dark and fraught with strange sounds, people choose to sing so that they don't have to hear the scary thoughts within their heads.

Afterall, Nero was fiddling when Rome was buring (Aside: Is that why the software used for burning CDs is called Nero?!?!?!?).

Now, dear reader tell me, have you imagined the power of the 'hum' and 'song' as I have shown you.

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An argument that makes me cringe

Some arguments make you smile. Some make you see sense. Some arguments seem pointless. But some make you cringe, not in fear but in irritation and anger.

When you speak about your problem to an individual, pat comes the reply: Just think of people who undergo more sufferings than you. You are much better off.

The above given argument puts me off and saddens me further. First, instead of just listening to what I am presently undergoing, the person decides to provide a comparison. Second, I firmly believe that suffering cannot be measured. Each one has his/her own cup to bear and that cannot be seen with the backdrop of another's pain.

I have come across this kind of argument many times in the span of life I have lived. And the people who bring up this argument belong to various age-groups, social-standing and positions. Why should one's pain always be compared to someone else's?

Now complaining is not similar to pain but many times people confuse the two. There is even a famous proverb which says: "I complained I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet." Now this saying is not about pain, it is about a state which has no contentment but many use this wise saying when they see a person in pain.

I think all of us experience pain in varying measures and each one has his/her unique way of handling the same. But using X's pain and comforting oneself saying: "X is suffering more than me so my pain is nothing" is a foolish way of looking at pain.

I am sure this argument has been thrown at you while you crossed a difficult path. What do you think of this argument on pain and suffering. What arguments seem pointless to you?

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