the international conference just got over yesterday. it left me with a richer experience and lovely images. one such image is the image of an impressive individual - long white hair tied neatly into a pony and flowing white beard equally white like the hair in the head (reader, i must confess that people who choose not to dye their original white, evoke my admiration. well, that is a personal fetish. you can forget that part!). the man in question - hoshang merchant! impressive, cerebral, charming and above all a poet and a theoretician. well, i must admit i could not take my eyes off him! the audacity with which he refers to himself as a gay poet is something i encountered for the first time. after conversing with him and basking in his company albeit for a few minutes, i cannot stop to think if there is something like a gay mind. i am definitely alluding to a certain dichotomy here. i am trying to unconsciously create a self and the other. i know that i cannot avoid this. i tried my best to fathom certain aspects while talking to him and i find nothing like that. can i therefore conclude that there is nothing like the 'gay mind.' my mind refuses to take 'no' as an answer. maybe i am thinking so much because this is the first time i am talking to a cerebral gay and therefore the questions choose to arise even without me coercing them too hard. that they are no different from heterosexuals is a known axiom but still deciphering the gay mind for me seems legitimate enough. probably the situation is exaggerated by me. i am tempted to say to myself, 'a gay is a gay. period.'
how does the gay mind perceive a woman, how does the gay mind perceive lesbians, do the gays stand up for matriarchy than patriarchy, why do gays associate themselves with women more than they associate with men (does it operate the same way as a heterosexual), is it only the sexual preference that makes them adopt a different normalcy. . . these and more are some of the aspects that kept churning and turning my thoughts. well, hoshang! are you listening? answer me . . .