She could be me in another garb!

I know for a fact that each individual has her/his writing style which is unique to him/her but when I stop by at some blogs, I am reminded of the blogger ME. Yesterday, when I was supposed to be doing some serious work, I stopped at a blog for taking a wee break which extended beyond wee (that's another matter) and was astonished beyond belief that the writing was so very ME. In that blog, stood many posts which were drafted in my mind, same lines, same expressions and even same cliches. I was flabbergasted and a bit worried because the posts inflated my sense of 'uniqueness.' The topics were quite assorted but the thought process of those posts stripped me my sense of uniqueness. I guess that happens to almost most of us. No matter how much we talk of individuality and being special, some of these findings deflate our own brand that defines us.

The first post that I read piqued my curiosity because here was someone who thought and expressed things like me. I moved on to the next post and like that I would have read about ten posts or so which spoke of diverse interests and meanderings. Maybe the writer and I were some sort of joint souls who were separated many births ago but still have come together through posts in this era. As my reading progressed, I came to understand that I enjoyed those posts - the identity of the person behind those posts came alive with every post and that brought me close to the writer herself. I could see her smirk, delight, excited and morose. While she poured out her heart in her posts, I identified me. The thoughts that were a blur in my mind gained clarity when I read hers. Maybe I am exaggerating but I did feel like that when I read those posts by her.

The only thing I regret is that she had turned my drafts into delectable posts and I might not be interested in turning those drafts of mine into posts. She has already done that. Now, to prevent her turning more of my drafts into posts, I have to blog more regularly so that the girl who could be me would not steal my unwritten drafts.

This post is dedicated to her. I will not disclose her blog's name for you might land up there and exclaim, 'Really? She is not like Susan at all. In fact, she is much better!' Even though, you will not scream this on my face, the chances that you will find no similarities between us is quite high. So, I will leave you wondering about this blog I am referring to and also whether you have found any blog that captures the essence of YOU.

Gagging on milk powder

Can someone actually gag on milk powder. Well, if it is someone like me who likes to eat milk powder and is quite greedy about stuffing more than the mouth can contain, then one is sure to gag. And, one can even be gagged by the muffler, I read! Products like baby food, milk powder and certain other milk based powders somehow tickle my taste-buds and when I consume them, I do so like a frenzied person who hasn't come upon food for days. It begins with the promise of a single teaspoon but ends up with atleast seven teaspoons and much gagging. The problem is not seven teaspoons but seven teaspoons in a single (small) mouth at the same time! Even now when I think of it, I am  metaphorically choking and wondering how I could have managed such act of gluttony. Come to think of it, I gag on many things - literally and figuratively.

Take Facebook for example. I sometimes tend to spend so many hours browsing through the idle treats that are available to me that at the end of the day I feel as if I have gorged unlimited Facebook bytes that I feel tired and spent without having moved a muscle. I am not complaining but I sure feel sullen about the time that has slyly passed without my knowledge.

Another gag is sleep. I gag on sleep that when I finally decide to get some work done, my sleep memories often prod me to sleep again. Sleep is blissful and restful but the thought of sleeping without having done what I ought to have done, gags me. I choke and blame my irregular cycles of planning/procrastination.

I gag on books! Yes, you read that right. Books are meant to read but they have their own time. If one reads when one is meant to be doing something else then the guilt gags you big time. For this, I have to shift the blame to the many Facebook book clubs which I am a part of. See, the cycle has come full circle by connecting everything to the Facebook gag!

I know that this post was an exaggeration of sorts but then everyone is gagging on something all the time - and some gags come disguised as seemingly constructive things like Books, blogging, music and the not-so-innocent milk powder!

So what are you gagging on today?

Breaking the illusion of romantic train journeys

Off late I have come to accept the fact that I find long train journeys boring and that I prefer to sleep rather than cozy up to a book. Well, a few years ago, even two years ago, I wouldn't have accepted the fact of boring train journeys but now I realise that I better burst my self-made bubble. I suppose even age has something to contribute in this aspect. There was a time I swore by train journeys. And, sometimes, even now, the appearing of a blue coloured train at a distance with its smoke and sound makes me nostalgic for leaving to some place and just the imagination of curling up with a book sends spasms of excitement through my senses. Alas! the thrill lasts only for a few minutes when the distant approach of a train creates a frenzied longing - after the train arrives at the station and stops - I feel a bit unsettled to leave the comfort zone of my home and take on a  journey.

But mind you, I still enjoy travelling to new places or perhaps I think I do. Sometimes I wonder whether I allow certain lies to fog my mind and knowingly I submit myself to these grand illusions. These lies are always so comforting. They allow us to cheat ourselves and in the process we are made fools by our own thoughts and emotions.

Coming back to train journeys, I wonder whether it is the length of time or perhaps the closed confines of an AC chair that bores me. Maybe long journeys are better with hoardes of relatives and cousins who chatter away to glory. No, I have also travelled with many people but still find myself longing for the journey to come to an end. And books! I do like them but I prefer sleeping to reading while in a train. The moment I open a book, my eyes feel heavy and my senses dulled. I think that my body is weary and I shall sleep a bit and then get back to reading but that seldom happens. I sleep like there's no tomorrow and the book/s remain untouched through the rest of the journey and I make a mental note to not carry any books the next time. But as you suspected, I forget the promise, carry books in the next journey and continue to sleep blissfully.

I have come to realise that we carry an image of our younger self's habits, likings and desires into our consecutive phase of life. I, atleast, think that my tastes in food, books and music will continue to remain the same as I advance in years but sadly that is not the case; probably that is the reason one tends to grow out of friends who were so very precious during our childhood. Sometimes even memories are so - one outgrows them and after a point, there seems to be no much use for those thoughts except that they defined us once upon a time. Awareness of ourselves through passing years is a vital aspect of our life and many a times, we like to lie to ourselves and live under the illusion of seemingly being the same person through the various stages of our lives.

So, what are your thoughts on living under an illusion?

Lessons from my Dell notebook

My blogging and other online activities have taken a toll due to the unavailability of a computer and so I have repaired my notebook, Dell  mini Inspiron 10 and have started using the same. To begin with, inspite of being thankful for the wee toy, I must admit that using this small thing is not quite easy for me. So, along with stating reasons for the difficulty in using this mini gadget, I will also jot down the lessons that this wee thing instills in me.

Being gentle always: My mini one likes me to be gentle on him. if I press any key (esp copy and paste) in quick succession, he retorts by stopping the page from loading. Invariably, I have to wait, press the keys slowly and gently, and then proceed with whatever I intended to do. Similarly if I click on the facebook notifications twice, the icons on the screen quickly become either very large or small. So, I have to be gentle, click once, wait and then proceed. Oh! The joys of a laptop/desktop! Sigh.

Awareness: I am not the harried/hurrying types but there is a limit one can take something in their stride. My small one forces and coerces me to take that one extra step in being aware of something in a leisurely pace. It does not like me opening many tabs at one given time. If I try that and go ahead, the small guy just stops working and is stubborn about staying in a state of limbo for a couple of minutes. I promptly close the online shopping tabs and force my concentration on two tabs at one time. Lessons in being aware of only the essential items are learnt.

Patience: The pages, while working on this notebook, load slower than the laptop forcing me to sit, wait and be calm. I know that no matter I try to press the keys over and over, the little guy will make sure that I follow his speed and not the other way round. In the interim, I have learned to slow down, wait and not get worked up if the page in question does not load the moment I click on it. Phew.

Strategy: For everything in life there is a certain strategy and when it comes to charging this small moron, I have to imagine and conjure all the possible strategies to make sure that the plug, the socket and the notebook are in perfect position. Again patience and awareness make their guest appearances here: I have to first choose the socket that is at a correct height so that the wire can be held in such a way that it is in a certain position, otherwise inspite of everything working perfectly fine, the computer does not get charged so I have to use a strategy where I use a chair to balance the three-pin point and make it sit smug on the plug-point and slowly I use the charging end and insert it into the notebook. If I try to hurry, then the process fails so the strategy is to use a perfect strategy!

Beauty is skin deep: My Dell mini Inspiron has a jazzy design and looks cool but beyond that if one tries to judge the working based on the exterior than one is in for a rude shock. Well, the notebooks have a different philosophy of working and one cannot blame the small fellow. The smallness is to blame - If one is used to laptops and desktops, then it becomes a tad wearisome to work on this small guy. Small is beautiful but also a bit tiresome to continuously work on. So, after all the old adage fits my small man well!

So, this is my computer story! I am glad that I can blog frequently alongside learning valuable life lessons from my wee computer.

So, what have your gadgets taught you? Are you willing to learn from them?


Image: Internet

Murakami and related thoughts

This year began with me reading a brand new author - the much acclaimed Haruki Murakami (whose name somehow always reminds me of the word, 'harami') Well, I have seen different quotes of his adorning different friends' Facebook walls and when an online book-club that I am a part of, decided to read Murakami for the month of January, I was filled with glee. I decided to pick, 'Kafka on the Shore' on a whim because of the name Kafka. Please don't think that I'm a fan of that metamorphosis Kafka! In fact, I hated that book - Metamorphosis! It is considered as a great piece of art and art is always something subjective and that subjectivity made me dislike that book! But a Japanese author dabbling with a Western writer's name in his Japanese novel's title made the book intriguing. And yes, as you guessed the book is definitely not a sunny read which one can savour with a cuppa tea and some muffins! Far from that, the book compels you to give it your complete attention and time and in doing so, it pulls you into the vortex of the dark aspects of your mind which you usually don't want to dig in normal times.

Murakami fashions his story after the famed Oedipus myth and leads the reader into various layers of the protagonists' minds. There are various allusions to many famous works and writers which point out to the different interests and sympathies of the writer. That he is fascinated and enthralled by many Western philosophers and music is no doubt and after reading the novel, one feels enriched by the information that we gain out of the book. Information on one hand and dissection of the self on the other is what this book did to me. It is quite impossible for me to maintain an emotional distance while engaging with the book because it is not possible to get into the skin of the different characters without drawing similar insights from our lives and the lives of those we know. One caution which I should use is being able to distance myself from the work of art. I guess that's a great lesson which time alone can teach me!

After completing 'Kafka,' I also dabbled with Murakami's collection of short stories titled, 'Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman.' It did not impress me much.

Most of the stories from the collection are quite abrupt and abstract. Being used to reading delightful short stories with equally delightful characters, Murakami forces me to let go of my previous experience of reading short stories and leads me into another reality which left me a bit disoriented. Metaphors and words are the characters of some of the stories and often they leave me heavy and tired. The pleasure that one associates with short stories is not present in Murakami's short stories instead each story leaves the reader distraught and groping for meaning and sense. Well, as I mentioned earlier, art is subjective and my conclusions can be subjective as well. I would very much welcome a debate or argument on the topic of Murakami's short stories.


So far, so good. Have you read Murakami? If yes, please tell me your thoughts on him and if no, I'd say, give it a try and see!

Image 1: Internet
Image 2: Internet

Balancing equlibrium

So, by and by 2014 arrived quietly and stealthily into my life and the euphoria which wasn't there in the first place died down. I had grand plans to write a sweet and fantastic post welcoming the new year but not having a computer to call my own, I postponed the post. Little did I realise that postponing a post is almost like forgetting it. These days when posts do arise, there is no keyboard to tap in and hence I seek refuge in my wee journal. It is quite cathartic to see pages filling up rapidly but the itch to read comments remains unfulfilled. I have forgotten reading and replying to comments. Well, that does not mean I don't have any plans for 2014. I do have. Like everyone, I also vocally and virtually scream that I don't make any resolutions, far from it, I make resolutions every single day consistently. Some infamous ones are:

1. Stopping sugar completely (Wait! Stopping anything white - rice, maida, sugar, milk . . . And so far I have managed it by baby steps)

2. Stop the past from pulling me down (Half the time I'm half-bent by the load!)

3. Stop worrying and analysing details too much (Ah, if wishes were horses)

4. To stop listing my weaknesses in social media (I will not go beyond three)


Well, anything new always excites and makes me savour the joy of living and a new year certainly is one such time.

Hope your year started off well and that you didn't make any resolutions like me.

Cheers to us and our blogs.

Image: Shutterstock