Inter-state weddings and monolingual children of urban India

Language is a beautiful connector of two individuals and so is marriage but then both have their pitfalls especially if two individuals belong to different language-speaking communities. National integration is something of a national joke these days that people resort to whenever they speak of India and her remarkability to people who don't belong to India. But the scenario in India is completely different with a trillion castes and a million languages. And then, there is a boy who falls in love with a girl from a different language group and community. They say that everything is fair in love and war and yes, everything is fair until marriage happens. Even a few years after the great M, everything is fair until a child arrives and hastily juggles all the neatly arranged pieces of the jigsaw puzzle.

Yes, the child forces many unsought questions and niggles the peace of mind. What will the poor parents do? After all while courting, children were a hazy dream of delight who were in the distant horizon but in the present the bundles of delight bring with them some vital questions - What will be the language of communication if the parents belong to two different language systems? Is the mother-tongue always the tongue of the mother that the child will adapt to or a language that the child picks up without much ado? Then enters the great coloniser into the picture - ENGLISH. Well, the parents find it easier to talk to the kid in English, after all English is a global language and the language of communication so why not. Lullabys are sung in English, sweet nothings are cooed in English and eventually the child picks up only English. The rich and diverse regional tongues of the father and mother are gradually forgotten and remains as a hazy memory. But not all children/ parents are so. I don't know how they do it but they systematically see that the child learns both the languages.

As much as I like English and the nuances of this coloniser's tongue, I shudder to think of my unborn children and their tongue. What language will they speak? Will they speak my language or my husband's? Will they love their parents in the regional or in the foreign tongue. Ah, no matter what, English is still a foreign language and we aren't native speakers even if we master the language. As I write this, I also think of my own predicament. Both my parents spoke the same language but since I grew up in a place which was not my state, I can hardly write or read my own language. While in school, it gave me great pride to say that I knew only English but now I feel quite uneasy to admit that I can only speak my language and not read or write. And I even think in a foreign tongue! But today being the 21st century, it does not pose much of a problem but when I increasingly listen to only English, I wonder whether we are gradually becoming a country with a homogenous language system. We like to be seen in Starbucks, KFCs and Macs speaking a language not our own and swearing in cuss words that belong to another country.

Everything is fair in love and war, they say. I don't agree. What do you think?

Image 1: Internet
Image 2: Internet

Some interesting 'phone talk'

For a long time now, I have been steadily observing, rather listening to the words and phrases used by people while referring to missed calls and lost messages. I thought it would be fun to record some of them here and also request you to add to some of these hilarious usage of phrases.

Why didn't you lift the phone? (As if a phone call can be lifted! Hangover of the old telephones which were in use way back when land-line phones were the norm. They are still in use now but in limited households)

How many times I am calling, your phone doesn't pick calls (Has anyone heard of phones having an independent mind)

I saw missed call from you but I didn't call again. Why didn't you call? (Hello, if you see a missed call, you HAVE missed a call and so you have to call back. Duh!)

My tower is cut and I am not able to continue the conversation (Tower is cut?!?!? I think signal or reception is the word to be used)

My tower signal is going (Where is it going?)

Don't walk and talk, the tower will disappear (!!!!)

I am running behind tower to talk clearly (Well, do you have special running shoes?)

Why are you unreachable? Has your tower disappeared? (Missing tower complaint)

After the advent of mobile phones into our daily lives, new vocabulary relating to mobiles have appeared in our daily language. Being a person who is interested in language and its usage, I cannot but help being amused at some of the phrases that are used even by the most educated persons.

You are welcome to add to this list and also comment on them.

Image: Internet

The perils of being a teacher of English

Not one.

Not two.

Wait, till I narrate my tale of woe.

Though I cannot deny the wonderful attributes of being a teacher, I must admit that being a teacher of English has many many strings attached to it. Firstly, people (all sorts: students, immediate and extended family, general acquaintances, friends and others) think that you know the meanings of all the words in the face of the earth. Second, your grammar has to be flawless and your writing precise. Third, you are always called by relatives to clarify doubts, write invites, essays for children, fill up forms and other inane forms of writing.

Let me stop with the list.

One thing which instantly puts me off is that while I am engrossed in my work, I sometimes receive a call from a cousin living in another city, requesting the meaning of a particular word that she came across in the newspaper. Depending on my mood, I respond to the situation. If in a sober and peppy mood, I take it in my stride and feel elated that people call ME to get word meanings. But if my mood is slightly under the weather, the caller will be given a liberal dosage (I shall illustrate with the exact words): "Do you think I am a mobile dictionary. You are plain lazy to look up a word and thus call me from nowhere. Don't you know that the dictionary has all the words you are looking for. Lazy ##$%&*."

Assessing the situation, it looks like not only teachers of English but all teachers are expected to be all-knowing. But teachers who teach English and languages become the most targeted of the lot as language becomes indispensable (read language teachers as well) in everyday life.

Off late, every teacher of English is supposed to have a blog. The conversation starts of like this: "Oh, you teach English . . . then you must be having your own blog." Well, incidentally I do have a blog but why are there so many stereotypes associated with a teacher of English. I can go on with my meanderings but I shall take heed of your patient disposition and stop.

Maybe you also belong to the category of people who view teachers of English as all-words-knowing and super man/woman-in-grammar. If yes, please state the basis of your theory and if no, you are blessed and may your tribe increase.

I welcome all teachers to vent, rant, complain and add your woes as well :)

On second thoughts, I think that we (teachers of English) ought to be better than the common man in knowing the nuances of the language. Contradiction? Life is so . . .

Image: Internet

Will the real swear-words please stand up

Being away from my blog has driven my thinking nuts. Every incident becomes a 'blog post' in my mind and everyone I see seems a potential character for the blog matter. Well, that brings me to today's entry. Swearing! Gosh! how easy it is to hear people swear in English (I am talking about the breed that is commonly known as the 'middle-class' with which I am familiar and part of). The f's and b's spring forth like 'something-for-which-there needs-no-practice.' How many of us even know the swear words in our own mother-tongue? This post argues for the knowledge of the mother-tongue in addition to the highly adopted usage of English.

I do not seem to claim to know all the words and thats why I strive to write this. WHY? How many of us curse in English as the need arises? Another thing is that unparlimentary words sound 'okay' to the ears when rendered in English. But translating the same words into our tongue does not sound dignified. A bad word is a bad word for heaven's sake be it in any language! The f word has become so ubiquitous that it is almost part of the so called 'proper' language. Every word is prefixed with the f word! Ridiculuous. If everyone were to do the same with their mother-tongue how would it sound? When we pass by people who are fighting on the streets and hear some sharp swear words, we twitch and cringe but when we hear the same words in the College canteen or a board-room, we do not react at all. Its part of the normal vocabulary. Hmmm. So much for English and globalisation that even swear words have become homogenised. No one swears in their tongue. English curse-words rule. No diversity I say!