Friday, 15 July 2011

Possessive of experience

Humans are complex beings and sometimes this complexity manifests in the most unexpected moments. When one imagines the personality of oneself, the rough edges are carefully glossed over when in a joyful mood. But when reflection gets deeper, the rough edges glare and threaten to disturb the still surface of serenity. This is precisely what happened to me recently. A friend shared an experience and it so happened that that incident resembled an experience of mine. I could not partake in my friend's experience as I suddenly wanted to savour my experience and shield it. How could my friend experience the same one as mine. I was overwhelmed and wanted to ask my friend to stop. I know that this is not a very good thing to do but sometimes it does happen.



I found this behaviour of mine rather strange. One can become possessive of objects and individuals but experience. Possessiveness of any kind is not quite healthy and it goes hand-in-hand with jealousy. And jealousy is not a virtue! But trying to be possessive of one's experience is a complete surprise.

When I began writing this post, I found the human being as a rather complex creature but now I alter my perception to saying that there are diverse facets to a human being, out of which some seem complex. I am glad to see another dimension of the personality.

How about being possessive of experience? Are you? I don't think so.

Discovering along the journey . . .

Image: Internet

29 comments:

  1. i wish i knew more details of your story...

    i find myself feeling possessive of my experience in a different way lately. someone close to me has changed the story of our life together and i don't want to give up my story, my experience which is so dear to me. but, i don't want to give up my relationship with this person even more.

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  2. I do understand what you mean although I haven't given it conscious thought before. I think in some ways we are all a bit jealous or possessive of our experiences. They define us, make us interesting perhaps and it is a very real part of human nature that we almost cherish the idea many times that no one can truly have gone through what we have. Which of course is true but still, others can understand through experiences of their own and have empathy even if they have not gone through the exact same experience.

    Maybe we fear that by sharing our experiences, it takes something away from ourselves, I don't know. I do know though that there are many who don't like other people sharing something too deep or interesting and quickly try to out do the person's story or experience with one of their own. Even though I love to talk to people I know I have done this myself...and over petty things sometimes. :( But I do try to be aware of it and work on not doing so, letting someone else have their moment, their story.

    Hmm, tricky topic. :)

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  3. It is alright for us to feel that way
    our thoughts are never black or white but mostly gray
    and to be able to have our experience,how dare they!
    It is like stealing sunlight from OUR day.

    Most times I think we feel jealous when someone has an experience which has been uniquely ours till that time or worse have a better experience

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  4. hmmm...interesting thought...possessive of experience...never really thought about it...i do think we want to be or feel special...and perhaps in the other experiencing it, it takes some of that away...but then again to places ones specialness on an experience is rather short sighted...its not what you do but who you are eh?

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  5. Very thought provoking post! I could see how being possessive of an experience could happen, especially an experience that deeply touched us, helped perhaps shape some of our personality, as an individual.

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  6. This is a rather intriguing post, Susan. I do wish I know the exact context a little better so I cud guess at exactly what you felt, but you know what I think, in the infinite variety of human experience, I think it cud statistically be possible for someone else to have been in the exact same situation you have been in, and even perhaps have reacted the exact same way and ended up with the exact same emotion later on.

    To feel possessive about an epiphany or an experience that was truly unique is definitely understandable, if its uniqueness was of much significance to you.

    It can only be put down to a rather unexpected coincidence. I dont if I am expressing myself very clearly but I'm a little confused about this myself.

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  7. Oh yes I am ... yes, I've found myself in similar situations... especially when sponsored by people... They give you pieces of advice which you alreaddy gave to someone else in the past, and you think, hey that ida belongs to me! So, isn't there anything genuine in me? I guess there is not... but me , as you and as everyone else are a bunch of really complex people, each one so different, all so similar.

    PS.
    Hey Sweetie,
    sorry i haven't come earlier... I've been busy then lazy...
    complex me!
    :-)
    (ha!!! word verif. LAZICA!!!!)

    D.

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  8. I don't know Susan.. but I have actually seen people take pride in their experiences. And when someone else comes up with a similar thing.. maybe the pride takes a hit.

    In my case.. especially with similar childhood experiences.. I throw my hand up and high five.. that was a good life!

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  9. Intriguing post.. nice thought... but at the end of the day we are as simple or as complicated as we want to be!!! :)

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  10. I really liked this one Susan! It took me by surprise that we delude ourselves to possess not just ideas, people and objects but experience too...

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  11. Oh yes. I do become possessive of certain experiences. It's human nature, I suppose. We grow up thinking we are special, unique, there's no one else quite like us. At least here in the States we do. And then we meet someone quite similar, or with a quite similar story, and we can't help but feel some jealousy.

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  12. never really thought about it.

    but i like this new perspective...
    great insight as usual, dear Susan.

    have a great week ahead!
    betty
    hugs

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  13. hmmmm maybe I dont understand what happened to you too well to answer the question. I like what Dangerous Linda said. I am possessive of my story the way I remember it.

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  15. Yes Susan, I think we all are guilty. Possesiveness is common and we use it in strange circumstances.

    Sorry to comment so late. Hope you're doing well.

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  17. Linda:

    Welcome here. Thanks for coming by and sharing your insights. Sometimes we are surprised by this little insights in us which we never thought had existed.

    Colleen:

    Yeah, Colleen, we have the fear that we lose something that we have treasured within us for so long. I know that this trait is not a good one to possess. Thanks for your very thoughtful insight, dear Colleen. A pleasure to read your words.

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  18. Govind:

    True, Govind. Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously.

    Brian:

    Short-sighted, yes. What to do?

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  19. Jessica:

    It happens to me most of the times.

    Karishma:

    I perfectly get what you meant, Karishma. Once an experience touches us uniquely, we feel rather protective about it and thus never like it to happen to others. Quite a stupid trait, I must say.

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  20. Dulce:

    :)

    Missed you dear Dulce.

    Sameera:

    You are so sweet, Sam.
    xoxox

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  21. :-Dee:

    Absolutely.

    J:

    Delusion reigns high in me, ALWAYS.

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  22. Angie:

    You understand the situation, Angie. Glad.

    Betty:

    Hope you have been well, dear Betty. Glad to see you here, as always.

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  23. Myrna:

    Glad to see you here, Myrna. Strange circumstances, yes.

    I am well, Myrna and hope you are too.

    ITB:

    Thanks for the wonderful news.

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  24. I may be possessive about people and objects, but I don't recall being possessive about an experience.

    Perhaps, because most people's experiences are similar in nature; it's only their opinions and feelings about the significance of the experience - that differ.

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  27. Zetaclear:

    Thanks. I'm glad that you liked it.

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    ReplyDelete

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