Friday 22 July 2011

If you like it then you can take it

The shades of gray are deeper in certain spots of everyday life. Many times I tend to admire something in a friend's or relative's house. My comment goes something like this: "This bangle looks beautiful." Immediately the response would be: "Please take it." Well, when one admires something, it does not essentially boil down to possession and if I like something, it does not mean that I want it for myself. This kind of situation presents itself to me on many occasions.

The action following my comment of 'liking' is usually a gesture of love and affection. It also means that if I say that I like something, it is an indication that I would also like to possess the same. But the funniest part is that people are quite generous when it comes to small objects such as pens, key-holders, bangles, etc. but not bigger objects such as furniture, computer, dining table, etc. I reckon that it is quite easy to be a giver when it comes to insignificant things but others, no way.

I could extend this topic to a slightly different tangent: food. When I express that I like the taste of a particular dish, it does not mean that I would eat a lot of that dish. Impossible. This situation happens most of the time with me. The moment I make the mistake of saying: "Tasty curry," I can be sure of the hostess serving me extra helpings of the 'curry.' An expression of appreciation does not always mean that I want more. If I feel like having more of that dish, I would definitely do so.

Someone somewhere would have tweaked the course of civilisation by expressing appreciation towards something that was needed by that individual and bang, it has been flowing steadily through our culture.

Well, what do you think of this.

Image: Internet


  1. "like"....would have to be the obvious response to your post.
    Now for the '' Comment.'' .. wouldn't it be extraordinary if our society could be critiqued in the same way we do on Facebook?

    And yes, the giving of a small item in response to an expressed "I like that." comes naturally, because you're a friend. Friends share what they can.
    BTW there's no way you're getting our lounge suite though..

  2. Interesting..... I rarely have that happen to me. Sounds more like they are happy to part with the small stuff than the larger items! Wonder why!!!

  3. Yes I would have to say like on the post as well.
    I find it is the same with other things such as people. If I say I like that man , it does not mean I want him. Same with women for my husband. Often times though it is misinterpreted that way. I like him so I must want him.(mostly by the younger people in my life.) For heaven sake what in the world would I do with 2 men. I can admire and appreciate with out desiring to possess. Be it things or people. I have never had anyone give me things that I admired, but I have been fed extra helpings.

  4. I never thought of "Like" in this way. For me it is an appreciation of something..but not needing to own it...especially if it belongs to someone else. I have people say..I really like your way, they are not getting it. The reason..I like it better. Great subject along with all the thoughts it cans stir up...

  5. What an interesting train of thought! I wonder if this is perhaps a cultural thing or something that varies from person to person? I know some very generous people who you are almost afraid to tell you like something of theirs because they will insist on giving it to you.:) Then again, I know only maybe two people like this and other than these two haven't encountered this very much.:)

    I like to give things away sometimes if I know someone likes it, it lightens the load a bit and also is nice to know someone has it that really enjoys it but I try not to force my things upon others....there's probably a fine line, as with many things.:)

    Have a wonderful day!

  6. most def...appreciation is huge and reinforces the behavior we like to see while also affirming the other...and just another reason why false apprec is a very bad thing...

    just fyi...the boy in my poem today is one that i counsel, not my son, but society's///

  7. Have experienced N number of times... good read! :)

  8. I personally think it's a cultural thing. I know that in my culture, when someone expresses admiration for something, the automatic response from the owner is, "Please, take it!" Of course, everyone understands that the other person won't take it, but I wonder if it's a hospitality thing that just gets socialized in us depending on our cultural context. I know that other cultures don't go through this offering process. It leaves one thinking how culture is such a complex thing, and how deeply it affects us.

    Wonderful topic for discussion, Susan!

    Wishing you a lovely weekend,

  9. brilliant post Susan..I can relate to what you are saying..It happens all the time..imagine if u had to say.."love" INSTEAD OF LIKE...

  10. liking, does it mean the urge of possessing? i think it is a piece of appreciation rather than the eagerness of possession. misunderstandings are a part of life. let the bangles decide.

    have a great weekend.

  11. Very interesting point. I have had my share of that, especially when it came to food. I wonder why people do that. Loved reading it Susan.

    My latest post:

  12. A friend and I visited the home of an artist. My friend admired a particularly large and attractive painting. The artist said, without skipping a breath--"It's yours!"
    True story. I was impressed!

    If I am served more food in that same kind of situation, I simply eat it! (I'll show THEM!) LOL
    PEACE and Joy, as you say--always!

  13. Funny to read this because I was thinking about it the other day; mostly with relatives of mine, it has happened to me some times, too. For example, a little Egyptian statue my aunt had. I said I liked it and she told me take it, and I, kind of confused, accepted, but the thing is, what I really liked was a whole situation, I mean I appreciate that statue now but I liked better the way it looked at my aunt's. Does it make any sense? I think it's like what they say about falling in love: you don't fall in love with a person, you fall in love with a whole moment, context, situation...

    P.S. I sent you the Versatile Blogger Award, did you ever get to see it? Thanks for your blogging.

  14. In this culture of ours, here, by the west, people do not tend to give you things that easily... but some friends do so with bracelets and things, which I guess they are tired of and so it's a great way to get rid of..

    In fact, with my closest ones, i sometimes say... Oh I love that shirt, give it to me, please'...

    And the usual answer goes, 'NO WAY!'

    Great post, as usual, my dear lady.

    I want more! LOL


  15. In my experience, when one visits an old relative and says 'like it' about some item - there's a chance he/she might react with 'take it'.
    They're at the age when they want to get rid of things and cause much pleasure to the younger ones.
    Apart from that - I wouldn't expect someone to offer me the item I like.

  16. I experienced that with Mexican friends. Everytime I said I liked something, it was handed to me. One time I said to an acquaintance's boyfriend "I like your sunglasses". He handed them to me and my not acceptance was taken as disrespect so I took them. However, I could see in her face that she was upset her boyfriend was offering his sunglasses to me. The next day I drove to their house and left he sunglasses in a bag with a note thanking them for the generosity.

  17. that's a nice post - yes people are more giving when it comes to inconsequential things ..

  18. how true: the expression of appreciation doesn't mean we want to eat the full bowl of curry or daal :D Sigh ! and to escape this over-servings if you don't appreciate the dishes you are still in trouble,aren't you? ;)

  19. I guess people (all of us) are selectively generous. Easy to give food or something small - a sofa, TV or car - that's a different story. Humanity is funny, huh?

    Take care Susan. Thanks for your thought-provoking posts.

  20. Must be cultural? I don't think it happens in my country. Or perhaps we're not as generous.

    But it does happen when it comes to food. Expressing delight for a particular dish comes with heftier portions from the host. So I make sure I compliment the food AFTER dinner. :))

  21. I must say to my credit
    of possessing a spirit
    of saying You like it?
    then go ahead and take it
    to things that are small and petit
    but there is a limit
    to bigger things it is hard to commit.

    Your posts have the ability to make one think on something one always takes for granted.

  22. Jim:

    Thanks Jim. Your insights are always welcome. I should take a look at your lounge suite, sometime.


    Small things are always insignificant, Sav.

    Hope you've been well and joyous.

  23. Jan:

    Thanks for the 'like' Jan. I wanted to write about men but stopped shy. Food is always welcome by many. In India, when people say 'no' it is takes as 'yes.' Sad but true.


    Welcome here. Thanks for coming by and taking time out for jotting your insights. Thanks for your kind words which are quite true.

  24. Colleen:

    Culture maketh a man, I reckon, Colleen. In some cultures some aspects are quite stifling, you see.


    Quite true.

  25. Karan:

    Nice to see you after a long time. Thanks for the kind comment.


    Our cultures eem to be more alike. I guess this is the culture of the East. So many cultural aspects like these are quite baffling and stifling.

    Glad to see you commenting here after a long time, dear Nevine. Missed your visits and words.

    Joy always :)

  26. Alpana:

    I guess in India like and love don't have so much a difference. It is all the very same.

    Fantacy in Practicality:

    Welcome here and thanks for coming by. Bangles only adorn, I guess.
    Good to have to stop by.

  27. Rimly:

    Thanks for the kind appreciation. Good to see you stop by, dear Rimly.


    Wow! A painting! Now that is something I would like to possess :)

    I know you can eat like a horse,d ear Steve. So when are you dropping by for a meal?

    Love to you :)

  28. :-Dee:

    Thanks Dee.

    Nacho Jordi:

    What a lovely comment, this was, dear Nacho. Loved it. And, I did receive your award ( a little late, though as I did not have internet for many days). Thanks a ton. I should have thanked you earlier but I have no excuses.

    Joy always to you.

  29. Dulce:

    Hmmm. The west is quite different that way, I guess. Take as much as you want, dear lady.



    Your point seems valid. People might want to get rid of things by giving it away :)

  30. Myriam:

    Oops, that was a tight spot. Never been in one like that. But what you did that day was the best thing to do, I reckon.


    Hmmmm. Thanks for coming by :)

  31. NU:

    Ha Ha. Hope Chirpy is getting on well :)


    Funny indeed! You are welcome, Myrna.

  32. AJ:

    Quite cultural, Age. With food, I guess it is homogenous everywhere. Glad to see you around, Age.


    Thanks for that delightful verse which always delights me and in turn forces me to think of another delightful verse in accompaniement to yours.

    Thanks for the wishes. For what, though?

    Joy always :)



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