Monday 9 May 2011

When twin emotions accost you back-to-back

Sometimes it so happens that two extreme emotions seize you the very same day making you wonder whether happiness or sorrow should be the signing off emotion. I find this very strange. Sometimes a friend would call up in an otherwise very happy day and give some news which would unsettle you. The news would be a harbinger of guilt as you find that rejoicing has to momentarily pause before the friend is consoled. Crossroads, I say.

Many a times I have seen friends go through this phase and so have I. After the twin news, the mind just weighs and one settles down with an emotionless state and wonders about both the different emotions which occurred back to back.

I find that when one is accosted like that, the best way is to let go of any strong feeling that might lead to heaviness; Heaviness of being happy when another friend is in a not-so-happy state of mind.

I guess exposure to media has made us immune in some way as we are faced with different kinds of news items that anger, surprise, hurt and make us happy. I wonder about kids. They seem to be so very oblivious of emotions, that they can switch over quite easily.

Reader, what is best when the situation is such that twin emotions accost you back-to-back? Just BE or sway?

Image: Internet


  1. Susan,
    I think I am a swayer but than again there are times that I can just be in the emotion and get taken way down revel in and return to my normal High state. I guess it balances out for me...

  2. I am an extremely emotional,very hyper,and a very moody person..I get swayed by anything and everything,and at times hate myself for it..very good post..Susan

  3. Interesting post posing a very interesting question. It's hard...for example I was experiencing a great day lately...I felt fully of the Spirit, my kids were healthy and getting along and everything was going great. Then I got a phone call bearing some very sad news. I think it's important to recognize both emotions but also realize that we have the power to control how news effects us. We can be sad but not overcome by that sadness where it has the ability to ruin the joy that we were previously feeling. It's not always easy, and sometimes there are just thing that happen that shatter our present realities, overcoming them a bit with their serious nature, and that's ok too. I guess it all depends on what is happening, but I try not to let negativity have too much of a sway on my present emotion, realizing that oftentimes things aren't as bad as they seem initially. How often do we we overreact about something and then realize it wasn't much to worry about in the first place? It all depends. But we do have a choice on how we react to things..good or bad.
    I hope that makes a little sense anyways!

  4. I get this a lot to be honest, at work in particular, but hey i just feel emotions are one of the best parts of being alive so take each one for what it is ;)

  5. i think it's important to feel other people's emotions and not loose touch of your own. so if you are having a great day and you get bad news it's natural to feel the switch in mood but not loose touch with your own feeling of happiness for that day. takes practice to not feel guilty.

    the great emotional experience is what keeps us feeling alive

    have a great day Susan!

  6. i think i have found my sea legs well enough to roll with it...inerestingly enough zuzana wrote very similar thoughts in regard to her own life today...

  7. I had to think about this one. I guess the swaying depends on the intensity of the friend's bad news as well as the closeness of the friendship. Still, I know when we hear bad news it's hard to maintain our own good outlook.

  8. Life can at tmes be like a roller coaster ride. Our emotions bounce up and down. But we must not be slaves to our emotions, but we must take responsibility for ours always

  9. When in a situation like the above.... I am with that feeling.... Accepting it and spending some time with it. It is but natural that the emotions will pass and change for the next wave of feelings. I try not to hold on to either one and just flow like a stream and pausing when obstacles meet my flow

  10. Those twin times are times when I find it useful to keep everything in its proper place. My friends grief is not something I am required to pick up and continue carrying after our converstation. Yes, often the love or the hurt is so intense it is hard to seperate from it. Attitude is a choice but not always an easy choice.
    Good post.

  11. When faced with emotions of the opposite spectra on the scale, they usually do not cancel out each other. I feel them through separately and I can view and live them separately, each has its own moment.
    As for kids, I think perhaps they are even more sensitive today then before. Maybe they just adapt and learn to process the news in a new way. Just like we do learn to cope with progress and changes.;)
    On another note, thank you dear Susan for your kind comment yesterday.;))

  12. Hi Susan,

    You have raised an interesting question. I think we deceive our-selves if we believe that We believe that Happy occasions make us happy, and sad occasions make us sad. Occasions are nothing but events which happen in our life. One can remain happy by realizing that all events are transient and that all things must pass. Bad things have an ending, so do, Good things - a beginning... and vice versa. Realizing this truth will give us comfort to face both the happy and sad news with equal composure.

    Coincidentally, i had written a post on it few days back. The link which i have shared below. Hope it interest you.

    Take charge,


  13. "Reader, what is best when the situation is such that twin emotions accost you back-to-back? Just BE or sway?"

    Susan, I do not fight, nor flight. I just try to hide, preferable under a blankie--and sleep for a month. I'm doing that now, but just sneaked out from under, to see what you are up to.

    Love your style of exposition plus question. Allows me to learn, without having to feel so dumb--grin!

    You are ALWAYS one of the best here!

  14. You know, Susan, it really depends, I have to say. It depends on who is giving the news, and what the news is. I am trying to unlearn my very bad habit of being affected by others' misfortunes. Yet, though it is a bad habit, we can't go through life being oblivious to the troubles of those around us; that would be harsh and inhumane. So, it is a matter of weighing the other's situation, and also mine, I suppose.

    Hoping your week is shining bright,

  15. we must embrace both. How can we know one if we avoid the other? Only flying high we can enjoy the wonders of low.

  16. Jessica:

    Glad that you are able to balance the two emotions. Joy always :)


    Don't hate yourself, dear Alpana. Just try to be patient with yourself.

  17. Jessica:

    Sometimes when the person is very close to us, things become a tad difficult, Jessica. But as you said, we do have a choice.


    Absolutely. They are the best parts of being alive!!!

  18. Hope:

    Lovely last line, Hope. Even Charles remarked the same and I so agree on that.


    Quite true, Brian. Sometimes one just learns to manage.

  19. Myrna:

    I'm glad that you hear me. Sometimes it is just too hard to balance. So just being there, works out well.

    Short Poems:

    Welcome and thanks for the appreciation. Glad that you stopped by.

  20. Larry:

    Quite a wise comment, Larry! Thanks.


    Thus speaketh the yogi . . .

  21. GQ:

    My friend's grief cannot be just passed by as well, GQ. Sharing grief is something not everyone can do well. The Bible also says that it is better to mourn rather than be happy. So, I wonder . . .


    I wonder how you live them separately, Zuzana. I should cultivate that.
    Zuzana, that last post you wrote was a truly intimate and tender post about yourself and I could relate so well to that post and your personality.


  22. Aragorn:

    Welcome here. It always feels nice to have new people stop by and record their insights. Quite a spiritual rendering, Aragorn. Sometimes I wonder whether I will reach there.

    Shall swing by your post rightaway :)


    :) Under a blanket??? Does that make any difference, Steve. It's all in the head.

    Glad that you're around, dear Steve. Makes Blogosphere a wonderful place to be!

    Love you more than the last time, Steve :)

  23. Nevine:

    Balance is the key word, I reckon. It truly is, Nevine.

    Hope your course is fine and that academics is treating you well :)


    Embrace both but which one will be embraced the hardest, I wonder.

    Joy always :)

  24. First off, I'm relieved I could access your blog! At least I know my laptop's anti-virus is doing its job. :)

    As for the question, I'd say it's possible to compartmentalize. I remember when my father was first diagnosed with cancer. I was on my way to class when my mom called, so I was crying in the car. I felt then I wasn't ready to teach, that I might lose it in class. But surprisingly, I got on just fine. I was able to suspend my sadness, depression, anxiety until class was over.

    Happiness may even be easier to suspend, like when consoling a friend when you are happy.

    You're right about kids. They can cry one moment then laugh the next. I think adults can manage that too, but in a more intentional manner.

  25. Age:

    Thanks for trying over and over. And I am finally glad that Blogger is working.

    I guess, with practice anything is possible but can life be engineered so? I wonder.

    Joy always :)

  26. Blame it to body chemicals responsible for such mood enhancer according to what situation offers. One copies, one depletes, the other inflates. These chemicals form the basis of how our mind picks up dictating our body to react via our will power. Depends on the strength and weakness of disposition we have, it's either we will deny or accept. But there is always the so-called manipulative factors that trigger a wrong reaction - called negative. Let it be or sway? We are to determine the course of our action. We have to decide: right or wrong!

    You've done it again Susan!!! Such a big Interesting mind of yours. Hope I get this one right. I'm in a situation that accost me back to back at the moment. But I decided to just ignore it and do something else worthwhile. Like reading your blog. :)

  27. Inday:

    You offer the most practical and sensible of ideas and I so enjoy reading your insights on life.

    Thanks for your kind insights dear Inday. You make me smile and feel good :)



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