Observing people and wondering about them often proves quite engaging. I especially amaze at the different phrases that are dropped well-meaningly but unassumingly. The use of the phrase: 'Someone told me' or 'I heard someone telling . . .' has become quite common that it is sprinkled rather liberally in conversations. At that particular time it seems quite insignificant but that phrase is still carried over twice and thrice by individuals who again say: 'Someone told me . . ..' How often we just carry forward rumours and as such on and on.
I honestly believe that the art of conversation has many strategies but the most abused, according to me is passing on information without verification. I know that it is absolutely harmless on our part when we pass on something which we have heard as a second-hand information. But it would do no harm to verify our sources and then carry it on.
My students, especially, excel in this art. They always tell me something and when I interrogate them further, I get sheepish smiles and blank looks. It was then that I realised that even adults are prone to this behaviour. Most of the times these phrases might be the clever concoction of the speaker who wants to pass off something but does not want to be associated with it. Maybe it is a device to appear clever albeit till the conversation ends and a few minutes thereafter.
Well, whatever the motive, dropping phrases and attributing that to someone is not as smart. Or maybe it is smart!
Hmmmmm, so did someone say that conversation is an art and one can have the liberty of saying anything? What do you think?
Image courtesy: Internet
True. Why should people talk more about what someone told them instead of speaking about what they want to tell. You know.. this is actually a big problem. Even in friends circle few people take the crutch of using someone else's name or random source to push their feelings ahead. Sad.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. Reminds me of the game 'Chinese Whispers' Repeating what the other has said and in doing so we leave or add a word that should or should not be there!
ReplyDeleterumors become fact as they are passed and judgements are made and at some point verification means little in the court of public opinion....
ReplyDeleteyes, conversation is an art. some bad, some good, some masterpieces. I guess when it comes down to it learn to filter what goes into your ears as well as what comes out of your mouth.
ReplyDeletethank you
great post!
u have been missed here :)
ReplyDeleteinteresting post - conversation is definitely an art and honesty pays as in any art form...
Conversation is an art, and its best tool is honesty. When we flavor our speech with untruths or rumors, it renders us less genuine, less sincere and though the conversation may thrive, the relationship will suffer.
ReplyDeleteHope you get a little relaxation time. Take care.
First of all, I like the illustration in the middle of your post. It sure contributes to the theme.
ReplyDeleteAs for conversation - Yes, I believe it's an art provided it doesn't include "someone told me", that is, rumour and gossip.
Yes, I believe in conversation, but "Chinese Whispers" really do go around as I've just learnt.
ReplyDeleteThings get taken out of context and rumours start. Then they build up until they almost ruin you.
Very interesting and thought provoking post. More people should think before they speak.
Big Hugs!
greetings, dear susan - well, your posts here are always so comprehensive, thought-provoking and discussion-getting!!! such a joy to visit! and such a joy to see you over at my place - my words always welcome your presence! peace and love -
ReplyDeleteOften when I say someone told me or I heard it somewhere, is because i truly can not recall who told me or where i have heard it.;))
ReplyDeleteSo maybe old age plays in there as well.;))
Have a lovely weekend dear Susan and it is a joy to stop by here always, no matter how elusive your posting is.;))
xoxo
Sameera:
ReplyDeleteBut as Zuzana mentioned sometimes memory fails us and so we don't much remember. I overlooked that point.
Savira:
That game is hilarious. The final sentence is so different from the one which started the rounds. Hope you are doing well, dear Savira.
Brian:
ReplyDeleteTrue but sad :(
Hope:
Where do we draw the line is the question. Filtering, again is in degrees to different people.
Yuvika:
ReplyDeleteFeels nice to be missed but I shall not stay away for long. Honesty, yes but creatively honest is also a norm! Hope you are doing well.
Myrna:
But how do we know truth from rumour. I guess I should relax only next year :)
DUTA:
ReplyDeleteI like the illustration too. Art, yes but for some rumour also becomes an art.
Heather:
So glad to see your comment here. Welcome after the break. There is no time for thinking of speaking, these days, dear Heather.
Jenean:
ReplyDeleteThanks for coming by dear Gypsy. Your visits here are cherished by me. I am a little busy these days and so it becomes impossible to be a regular at your place. I promise to make it all up next year, which is not so far :)
Zuzana:
Ah, Zuzana, I missed out the 'age' factor. How can I? Thanks for your very kind words. They make my post complete. Have a lovely Sunday and joy always to you :)
I do think conversation is an art, and yes, we can say anything... as long as we know that some of what we are saying is not necessarily true. The thing is that a lot of the information we receive on a daily basis has not been verified, and who has the time to try and verify every bit of stimulus coming their way? So, we can take things with a grain of salt while we're conversing so as not to ruin a promising conversation, no?
ReplyDeleteIt's good to challenge one another, too, about our sources. That always makes for even more interesting conversation... as long as we can agree to disagree. Some people get heated and angry when you try to challenge them. We are not all built the same, are we?
Love your thoughts, here, Susan. And I also love that you challenge your students... ;-)
Hugs,
Nevine
Oh And Unfortunately too often do we find ourselves talking about others and even stuff which is not our concern... but we are humans having relations and the gift to communicate through language.. a double-edged sword...
ReplyDeleteI say I said and some call me 'How dared you?'
Hey I am as crazy as I can be- What's wrong about saying beautiful things to the people?
This is because yesterday I told my SS hey people you know I appreciate you a lot... Then I told an acquaintance about it and looked at me as if that was not a good thing to say!!!
This old saying in Spain 'In closed mouths flies won't get in'... I must have swallowed a few... but what the heck!
lol
:)
JOY and nice weekend my dear Susan!
Nevine:
ReplyDeleteChallenging sounds interesting, Nevine. But the course of the conversation runs so enthusiastically that we never bother to check.
Big hugs back to you, dear Nevine.
Dulce:
Hmmm. Absolutely, Dulce. Conversation can mean so many things to all of us and that is the beauty of it, I reckon.
Love you lots and big hugs.
Joy always :)
Someone told me that this was the best blog on blogspot. :D
ReplyDeleteChandrika:
ReplyDeleteAh! Aha! I take your words as compliments anyway! I am a positive person, you see :)
Conversation is an important skill but if you could convey the message with few/no words, then you are a good speaker.
ReplyDeleteSometimes few words work magic than non-stop spilling of words. Welcome here and thanks for jotting down your insights.
ReplyDeleteJoy always :)
I believe in good conversation, and yes conversation is an art. I am afraid we all should think before we speak.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this thought-provoking post, Susan.
Big hugs to toy!
B xx
Ooops! I meant to say to you! x
ReplyDeleteBetty:
ReplyDeleteLol. Thanks for the kind words and wishes.
I linked to you today!
ReplyDeleteBetty:
ReplyDeleteThanks a ton. Big hugs and much love.