Thursday 13 February 2014

Breaking the illusion of romantic train journeys

Off late I have come to accept the fact that I find long train journeys boring and that I prefer to sleep rather than cozy up to a book. Well, a few years ago, even two years ago, I wouldn't have accepted the fact of boring train journeys but now I realise that I better burst my self-made bubble. I suppose even age has something to contribute in this aspect. There was a time I swore by train journeys. And, sometimes, even now, the appearing of a blue coloured train at a distance with its smoke and sound makes me nostalgic for leaving to some place and just the imagination of curling up with a book sends spasms of excitement through my senses. Alas! the thrill lasts only for a few minutes when the distant approach of a train creates a frenzied longing - after the train arrives at the station and stops - I feel a bit unsettled to leave the comfort zone of my home and take on a  journey.

But mind you, I still enjoy travelling to new places or perhaps I think I do. Sometimes I wonder whether I allow certain lies to fog my mind and knowingly I submit myself to these grand illusions. These lies are always so comforting. They allow us to cheat ourselves and in the process we are made fools by our own thoughts and emotions.

Coming back to train journeys, I wonder whether it is the length of time or perhaps the closed confines of an AC chair that bores me. Maybe long journeys are better with hoardes of relatives and cousins who chatter away to glory. No, I have also travelled with many people but still find myself longing for the journey to come to an end. And books! I do like them but I prefer sleeping to reading while in a train. The moment I open a book, my eyes feel heavy and my senses dulled. I think that my body is weary and I shall sleep a bit and then get back to reading but that seldom happens. I sleep like there's no tomorrow and the book/s remain untouched through the rest of the journey and I make a mental note to not carry any books the next time. But as you suspected, I forget the promise, carry books in the next journey and continue to sleep blissfully.

I have come to realise that we carry an image of our younger self's habits, likings and desires into our consecutive phase of life. I, atleast, think that my tastes in food, books and music will continue to remain the same as I advance in years but sadly that is not the case; probably that is the reason one tends to grow out of friends who were so very precious during our childhood. Sometimes even memories are so - one outgrows them and after a point, there seems to be no much use for those thoughts except that they defined us once upon a time. Awareness of ourselves through passing years is a vital aspect of our life and many a times, we like to lie to ourselves and live under the illusion of seemingly being the same person through the various stages of our lives.

So, what are your thoughts on living under an illusion?

20 comments:

  1. "These lies are always so comforting. They allow us to cheat ourselves and in the process we are made fools by our own thoughts and emotions." - Lovely. You write so well, Susan.

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  2. So true Susan, you have nailed it with the train example. I am not that experienced to takes sides, there are few things that I still love since childhood (it may change or may not) and there are few things which changed for instance as you pointed out train journeys - the excitement faded out, craving for pooris and aloos, television (i love watching TV as a kid now I just loathe it), usage of WhatsApp (drastic change in 1 year, I was an addict now I rarely use it), Pepsi/Coke (I used to drink whenever possible now I politely refuse wherever possible). Don't why are how but many things changed. Yeah, lost touch with people who once meant a lot. I started living without the person who once I thought I cannot live without! Life puzzles me a lot!

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    1. Srilakshmi, sometimes life teaches us many things in the most unusual of places and the train one is one such. There are many other things that I refuse to believe but still one has to listen and be aware of what every experience is teaching us. Life is a puzzle and by keen observation, I guess we can crack it.

      Thanks for stopping by and noting your views.

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  3. Thanks dear Sakshi and these words coming from a blogger whose words I much admire, is quite humbling. Glad that you stopped by :)

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  4. I like this post. I guess life is like a train ride, our habits change, and our destinations too. I've only once taken a long train ride. It was in Mexico, through some rough and beautiful landscapes, so I just enjoyed the adventure. If I rode more often, I think I'd sleep too. Enjoy you thoughtful writing dear Susan. Hope all is well with you.

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    1. Yes, Myrna, life is often like a train ride - sometimes adventurous and sometimes dull and boring. We all have our phases, don't we, dear Myrna? Thanks for visiting and commenting dear Myrna.

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  5. Hi Susan,

    A nice post - some journeys are meant to be just plain journeys - point to point. Other journeys are to be relished and cherished! Yes, eventually we all grow out of our habits and evolve from children into adults. But once we grow into adults we keep yearning for the innocent joys of a childhood gone by :) !

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    1. No, I don't yearn for the innocent joys of childhood. Every phase is to be relished, I guess but yes, I do miss the carefree and mindless days of yore. The acceptance of the evolving is what is important, I think, Mahesh. Agree?

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  6. I thought I was reading about myself but in clear words! I would have expressed these thoughts in a 'ramayan' like post!

    I had been reading a lot until nearly I was 40! Then it slowed down gradually. I had many friends in those days. Now very rarely I come close to friends. I feel I am new to me now! I love travelling but comfortably nowadays! Earlier, even II class was fun for me. I was making friends, though temporary and enjoy! Hmmm...I know what I am now... a dull person! I am OK with my own company, though!

    Don't worry, you will find many other distractions to entertain you, Susan!

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    1. Ah, a kindred soul who understands my predicament. Glad, dear Sandhya. We surprise ourselves, right and that's part of the fun and entertainment. Even blogging is something like that, now :(

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  7. Susan you have very aptly laid bare the philosophy of life. The journey through life with our whims and fancies is very much like a train journey.

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    1. Cannot be more aptly worded, dear Usha. Glad to see you here.

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  8. I don't seem my comment, Susan! Feel bad!

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  9. I think we can so easily stay in our comfort zone where illusions wish to dominate instead of change and challenge. How boring life would be if we only stayed put! :) I have always loved trains, but haven't ridden one for many years. Maybe, someday . . .
    Blessings and love, Susan!

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    1. True that dear Martha. Very often we are hardly aware of our changing preferences and tastes. One should gracefully and with awareness move on to the different phases in life.

      Hope that the weather scenario is okay there. Lots of love, dear Martha.

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  10. hi susan,
    i love trains for some reason. still haven't figure it out..
    you're a brilliant writer, susan, keep up the good work.

    may you be surrounded by love, happiness today and everyday:))
    xoxo

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    1. Happy to see you here, dear Betty. It has been some time since we visited each other's space. Perhaps not being able to take trains frequently makes you love them, I reckon. I might be wrong also.

      Have a lovely day ahead, dear Betty.

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  11. first, i love the train...its the people that capture me and i could sit and make up stories all day...there is truth though in how our preferences change...and often we keep up liking the things we once did because we always did....i wonder at that...

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    1. These days people sleep ans sleep in long distance train journeys and everyone keeps to themselves. And yes, our preferences undergo subtle changes and more often we don't seem to be aware of that.

      Glad to see you here, Brian.

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