Thursday 22 November 2012

It takes thirty plus three and a few months

Some posts don't allow you to rest. They nag, demand attention, try to hijack the stray vacant minutes until you finally allow yourself to write what it dictates to you. The present post is like that.


Mothers are strange creatures. They seem to have super-human abilities, solutions to the mundane worries that threaten to sabotage the peace of the day, quick-fixes to flush out the extra salt from the food and a zillion other practical stuff. Inspite of doing all this, the smile on the face remains and the facial appointment is never ever skipped. Phew! I never realised all this until I got married. Marriage always turns everything upside-down, opined my friends in the days when I wasn't married. And, like every single woman who takes pride in brushing off nuggets of wisdom that comes with experience, I never was quite interested in tales of being married. But I did listen, out of respect and warmth that comes with friendship.

But the tales, which turned out to be hard core facts hit me hard once I got married. And, when I say hard core facts, I don't mean the 'space' problems that every modern couple like to rave about but the teeny weeny things that often go unnoticed but still have the ability to mar the smooth flowing of the day's rhythms. Like many individuals who read theory and start every argument with abundant dosages of feminist philosophies with an extra dash of attitude, I had my share of mother-bashing and other things which I will refrain from sharing. Today, I realised that my mother is quite practical and sensible when it comes to certain things. And, marriage being something that you learn on the job, nothing can prepare you for it except the marriage itself. No matter how much one reads, listens to experiential stories and watches videos by marriage experts, nothing will tell you about the last minute hassles, niggling doubts about the right way to go about something and other stuff.

I realised that no matter what, I can call my mother and she will have something to say that will make me think, "That's it?" Many times, we look for grand ideas and solutions forgetting that sometimes thinking simple does all the tricks. I never imagined that my mother had done so many things - juggling thoughts, schedules, house and work and other small stuff. I also realise that planning though is hyped over and over can never be executed most of times and one needs to have that small doubt that things can go kaput even with detailed planning. You plan the breakfast, lunch and sundry details for the next day and late at night friends drop in. The plan takes a turn but one has to do quick thinking. Sticking to plans then is absolutely absurd. My mother was doing all these things with elan and finesse. Who taught her? Her mother? I don't think so. She was married off very early. She learnt it on the job - by trial and error.

Now, today, after thirty years plus three and a few months, I come to wonder at the life my mother and most of the mothers live and continue living. The sense of balance, taking care of the family and the self, fixing last minute change of plans and accommodating changes in schedules of our mothers is just amazing. I regret those years when I did not get to know her and think along with her. Now when I run my own home and have my own set of burnt toast mornings, I marvel at the wonder of my mom.

This post is for her.

She might not get to know of this post, maybe she will, but this post is from the innermost depths of my married being :)


  1. Great article! Very true...

    It is the realization that matters the most. For some it takes 30+ years, some after mothers death, for some... never

  2. ohh that was such a nice one.... i jus tend to realise... but to make things into a effective one it takes time..:)

  3. smiles...moms are cool..i am at my moms house today for thanksgiving...and a mothers work is never done, she continues to play a big role in my life...

  4. Beauty Susan! And how we adore them! They deserve a pedestal or much more....!

  5. Beauty Susan! And how we adore them! They deserve a pedestal or much more....!

  6. So true, all about marriage and managing home, one learns on the job! Is it that our mothers are better managers than us? It's the same with my mother, even at this age, she can do so many things, some on a short notice and some without any notice at all. I wonder, if I'll be able to manage all that at her age!
    Hats off to Moms! :)

  7. Very nice! Ah, that hindsight, huh? Sweet and loving post. Hope and yours have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

  8. What a wonderful tribute to your mother, Susan! What a gem! And, isn't it sad that some of us take so long to realize all our moms do and how well they taught us? My mom and I didn't always see eye-to-eye, but I truly admire her in every way for who she is.

  9. what I learn from my mother is the skill of prioritizing and I also feel that my mother's warm hands caressing my head has rejuvenating powers!!!:)

    awesome dedication to your mother :)

  10. Very beautiful and touching post!
    It's nice to realize mother's greatness now, while she's still with you.Most of us realize that mainly when she's gone and that fills us with deep regrets.

  11. Wonderfully written and said, true and honest. My life has been burnt toast for years, yet we always managed to scrape off the burnt and eat it anyway. Mom's are like that.

  12. Awww...this is such a beautiful post, Susan! And all at once, I'm acutely missing my mum in India.

  13. Der Susan, what a lovely tribute to your mom.;) Indeed, it often takes to be in someones shoes, so to speak, to fully appreciate what they have done and accomplished.;)
    I often have these "aha" moments myself, when it comes to my parents.;)
    Have a great weekend dear friend,

  14. Susan :)...What a brilliant and beautiful tribute to the most unconditionally loving person - Maa.
    Mothers are God's bestest blessings...ever.
    So here's to our super-moms! Three cheers <3
    May they stay blessed always.

  15. Well said. I loved two lines, some posts don't allow you to rest and mothers are strange creatures. As a mom, I can say that I am strange and posses super human powers, as the daughter of a very strange woman, who can leap all buildings, I'd have to agree. And yes, a glowing tribute. We don't always understand the woman who raises us or why she does the things she does, but we're better for it most of the time.

  16. Hi Susan :)

    You have been tagged:)

    Look forward to your answers



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