Tuesday 2 February 2010

Did I hear 'a good sense of humour?'

If you are familiar with the way some conversations meander, chances are that you might have not missed this line. Lets say that the topic gets down to asking X about her/his choice of partner. And pat comes the reply along with a string of other attributes: "(S)he should have a terrific sense of humour." Now whatever that means. Some time ago, the whole notion of sense of humour wasn't much part of general conversation. I cannot say that it was totally absent but it was seldom mentioned. But now everyone talks about 'a terrific sense of humour.' Well, let us see how this goes . . .

A sense of humour is quite important, I reckon, in this world where time is sparsely available for the lovelier aspects of life. I would like to categorise humour under this tag. What say? I guess so. What is this sense of humour? Is it the ability to make others laugh or the ability to laugh at yourself without your ego blinding your foresight or is it the ability to produce intelligent humour which does not harm anyone or you and is enjoyed by everyone. Or it is all of the aforementioned. I fail to define, rather refrain from defining the meaning of 'sense of houmour.'

Now coming back, since when did this attribute become the criterion for choosing a prospective life-partner. And so how can we identify this trait or rather how long does it take for someone to identify this trait. Can that one be answered? No, it cannot. Every intelligent thinking individual who possesses even a pinch of common sense can see that the quality of 'sense of humour' cannot be determined easily. 

I have known lovely people who have a 'terrific sense of humour' but are definitely not 'great' partners to their spouses. Their sense of humour gets jaded and faded when time casts her shadow. I guess sensible and intelligent people know the value of humour and can keep it alive by adding spice to their wisdom but finding intelligent, sensible people with a good sense of humour is slightly difficult given the lack of time.

Hmmmmm. Now this is getting a bit long-winding. I will let you decide, readers. Tell me . . . 

Picture courtesy: Internet


  1. So true. Got me thinking if I myself had been guilty of wanting this particular attribute in certain relationships...
    I think one looks for a good sense of humour probably cause they feel it equals to other qualities like understanding, rationality etc. But probably in reality it doesn't!

    Great choice of topic as always Susan! :)

  2. well, susan dear, i do know that i enjoy others who do possess that "great sense of humor" however it might be defined - but i think, along with that must come other attributes which would circumvent that thing you speak of about people you know who might have a great sense of humor but who are not caring toward their partner - so first must come humanity and compassion and caring - and then sense of humor fits right in - neat thought provoking post, as usual, susan! have a great evening - peace and love -

  3. Good sense of humor can be defined. For me it is being able to get into the moment and say something you've never said before. No repetitive jokes..! Catch a few observations and put it across brilliantly. Each individual defines it differently.Eg. what you might find funny wouldn't make a connect with what I find to be funny.

    The problem with people expecting a person with good sense of humor to be excellent partners is a myopic understanding of 'sense of humor'. They confuse it with a easy going approach towards life. What they actually mean id they don't want wet blankets who spoil the fun or people who come up with lame jokes expecting you to laugh. They like the moments when they laugh at some jokes which are 'funny'. So, they are just making an effort to get a person capable of offering these moments to them.

    I hope I make sense.

    PS: Something says me.. you'll love my latest post. Do visit. ;)

  4. I tend to think of sense of humor as somehow related to attitude. A person with a good sense of humor is almost invariably a positive person. Sure, there are exceptions. But then, my idea of sense of humor is probably different from another's and another's. Though I do also have to agree with Jenean's comment. A person that possesses sense of humor but is a total jerk or b**** just doesn't work for me. And it doesn't work period. That's why I think sense of humor and attitude are related. People with a good sense of humor tend to look at things positively, and when they do, they can see some humor in any situation, even the most difficult and challenging. My thoughts...

    And a fantastic topic, Susan! I always see your topics as something for which I could write an entire paper...


  5. Greetings Susan,

    Humour I would not select as a trait important to me in a spouse, for there are different aspects of humour.

    For example someone might like to watch comedy, while the other person who considers themselves to be humerus, does finds these shows boring.

    So I guess we are back to square one.

    Warmest regards,

  6. We had a great writer in Maharashtra known as P.L. Deshpande. He was famous for his humour and his quick-wit answers. But his wife, Sunita Deshpande was unimpressed. She said, I've to listen to his one-liners time and again and now there is no more humour left in it.

  7. Dear Ashley:

    I know what you mean. This trait has become so commonplace - looking for someone with 'a good sense of humour,' that I thought it is worth exploring.

    Dear Jenean:

    Hmmmm. I guess it should be a part of the package.

    Joy always.

  8. Dear Sameera:

    Been long. Hope you are well. Thanks for coming by. I see that you have analysed the post and given a very thoughtful reply. This attribute has become a vital part of the spouse-searching process that one fails to demarcate between humour and general disposition.

    And you definitely made sense :-)

    Dear Nevine:

    I am with you when you say that humour is related to attitude. A way of seeing the brighter and funnier side of life. Thanks for your lovely words Nevine. You know that I find my posts incomplete without your comments :)

  9. Dear Egmont:

    Greetings to you as well. There are definitely different types of humour and therefore when remarking this as a trait in a partner, I get confused. I am happy about the different thoughts on humour being discussed here. Square one has all the activity as we are all standing there!!!

    Dear Vinay:

    Thats precisely what I meant when I wrote: ". . . sense of humour gets jaded and faded when time casts her shadow."

    Thanks for coming by Vinay.

    Joy always.

  10. As long as people make me laugh, they have a great sense of humour.;) It is that simple to me.;))
    Lovely post as always my dear friend,

  11. I find more older people who have a sense of humor, only because they are less stressed and have the time. Sounds like a lot of hard work.

    Having a sense of humor also shows how able one is to cope with the stresses of life.. and therein lies the problem.

    It all seems to point to how positive we are in life.


  12. Dear Zuzana:

    Well, yes. Its simpler that way, isn't it?

    Thanks for coming by Zuzana and hope your Irishman is well.

    Joy always.

    Dear BM:

    Well, its the other way also. If you have a sense of humour then you are NOT stressed at all. Positivity has it all as Nevine and Jenean said. Hmmmmm.

    Glad that you came by and commented.

    Have a lovely remainder of the week.

  13. Hee hee I would like to think that I am intelligent with a great sense of humor (grin)

  14. Gaia:

    I am sure you are an intellectual who is guided by the heart.

    Joy always!



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