Sunday, 31 July 2016

The forgotten bucket list

Way back in 2010, having bucket lists and ticking off items from that list was something everyone was doing. I am guessing that people still do it. Many blogs I had then followed had these fascinating lists and also encouraged others to have a list. I did make a list and labelled it "101 Things to Do Before I Die." Those days, I was a passionate being, quite restive and found a thirst for many diverse things/activities for me and my family. Later I even ticked off certain items with a smug feeling. For a long time now, I had forgotten that I had a list like that. Today, while rummaging my Google mail folders, I saw a label titled, "101 . . . " and felt nothing; There was no desire to do those things listed there and what I once saw as fascinating, did not evoke any vigour in me. I think somewhere down the line, I just stopped imagining that I needed the urge to experience certain things.

I would not say that I have lost my zest for life and living but I have let go of that hot pursuit of experience that I needed to possess before I die. Perhaps I have learnt the art of acceptance - the acceptance that if something has to absolutely cross my path, it will! In 2010, I was a different person - scarred by certain life-changing episodes and learning to cope with crises and hence I was desperately looking for a purpose, maybe to keep me distracted and busy and the bucket list seemed a fantastic placebo. But then as I began healing within and life started in full force - I forgot the bucket list.

Getting married, finding a job and engaging with every single day with complete focus and concentration has somehow left me with little time for bucket lists. Today, the list makes me smile and wonder about the diverse things that I wanted to do sooner or later. I still want to do some of those things but I have no urgency - I will do it when I do it but never do it for the sake of doing it or striking an item off my list.

That said and done, I am in admiration of people who draw a list, patiently tick the items off and experience new levels of adrenaline rush. They remind me of me when I was down in the dumps and full of energy for something purposeful and fun.

Sometimes, only sometimes, I wish I could have the same gush of excitement as I had when I was eagerly drawing up a list to tick off. Ah, well . . .

8 comments:

  1. Sometimes it's good to look back on where we were and reflect upon just how far we've come. I've never had a bucket list per se, although there are some things I still hope to accomplish in the future.
    Love and blessings, Susan!

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    1. I guess so, Martha but sometimes I think the new self does not much appreciate certain aspects.

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  2. Ahhh.. I have never made a bucket list but yes there are a few things I wanna do in life and we'll, hopefully will get to it eventually.. :)) here's to fun days ahead..

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    1. Thanks for stopping by Aarti. All the best for the things you want to do. May the force be with you.

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  3. makes me remember my bucket list......

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  4. oh well... there are so many things on my bucket list... travel around europe, see the aurora, sea of stars, trek to everest base camp... i wonder if i will ever get around to doing any of it !!

    Nice post :) made me rethink a bit as well ... maybe i do need to get going!

    Do visit my blog as well! Writing after ages! :)

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    1. Ah! All that you have mentioned were on my list as well.

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