Sunday 13 December 2009

Lies, more lies, love, betrayal, interruption and more . . .

Scene 1: 

A: Hey, where are you? Its getting late. How long should I wait?

X: Just reaching. Be right there. (I hope she doesn't know that I am still home!!)

Scene 2:

Mother: Its quarter past nine. Why aren't you still home?

Daughter: I am just at the junction near our house.  Click. (Disconnects the call)

These are common examples of everyday happenings. These small lies do not appear as lies at all. Its just cheating on simple things to keep the person at the other end assured. There begins a deluge of lies which give way to a string of other vices.

Ever since technology has given the mobile phone, the title of the post has become a norm of life for most of us. Atleast for once I wish we were somewhere in the period before the mobile phones existed. In the days of yore, if one promised to  be in a place at an appointed time, they would arrive as promised or else the person at the other end would have to wait patiently. But now . . . one retorts to lying in order to keep the person at the other end satisfied. Pretence.

Betrayals have become next to impossible as the personal mobile reveals it all. Gone are the days when only the inner clothes were the most personal and closer to any individual. Now its the mobile phone. People keep it next to them while sleeping, eating, bathing, ironing - to name a few. Since this is considered private and personal, touching someone's mobile phone is an act of infringing the space (now this is the most abused word of this century and it deserves a separate blog post!!!) of that individual. Again it was simpler as well as difficult to have affairs and betray in the past unlike now where things are easy as well as detectable. Texting, missed calls and long hours of conversation in an unlikely place (read loo, terrace, etc) have become tools of suspicion.

The parent-child relationship is already littered with innocent lies and the mobile phone has done its two bits (no, a dozen bits) in adding value to those manipulations. Another tactic is to disconnect a boring caller, switch off the phone and later text the person saying: My battery was low and so the phone got disconnected. Hmmm. Deception. Creative manipulation.

Etiquette is forgotten, time has taken second place and values are diminishing. I can list many attributes to the innocent looking harmless mobile phone but then how can I forget that even I use it and on many ocassions have used the tool as a weapon of lying and cheating.


  1. I agree with you, there is an over reliance on that little gadget today and just like it many other little gadgets(mp3 in the ears etc) are starting to change values and attention within the social space of our relationships with our loved ones.

    Whatever you want to call it, a lie is still a lie and deception is what it is - we need to take a look more closely to our daily activities using these gadgets and even raise this with our kids to make them more aware to be honest always.

  2. It is true, Susan! But there's certainly NO going back to NOT having one for me! These days a hp is more than just receiving calls or sending's also a life organizer, entertainment tool at your fingertips. i love my touch phone with inbuilt TV for sure! And these things are getting more and more affordable!


  3. I love your take on things. So right you are.
    Somehow I am very happy I have my phone. It brings me comfort and security. I know that if I get into trouble, help can be called. Also if I am running late, due to real reasons beyond my control, I can let my loved ones know.
    But I agree with you, this is a tool only with the right intentions. Liers and cheaters will be liers and cheaters with or without technology.
    Have a lovely Sunday.;)

  4. BM: What you have said is true. We have to know how to balance technology and the use of gadgets effectively. thanks for dropping by again. I value your visits.

    Silver: Even I cannot do away with my phone at the moment as all my research contacts and other details are safe inside the mobile. But then, I was just thinking on the flip side of using the mobile and there came the post !!!

    Love and joy always,

  5. Zuzana: Welcome again. As I told Silver, I like my mobile as well but then I was keen on doing a reality check on the way we use these gadgets.

    Have a good week Zuzana.

    Love always,

  6. Great job! This post is awesome. I love how you managed to deep into things we dismiss as senseless and stupid and ho so common. But you are right... we need hit the brakes and give things a second thought!

    We definitely need mobile phones but I consider it intrusion of privacy seriously..there someone is always whom would want to know where you are... just to make sure you are safe.. but what if this facility was never there. Aah.. I don't want to continue with my personal experiences but ya.. can totally totally relate to this!

  7. Sameera: Thanks for the lovely words. Glad to see you.

    Have a great week ahead!

  8. To tell you the truth as much as the phone is a great convenience for emergencies, it has become an instrument for laziness, inconsiderationa and at worst disrespect.

    Nobody is punctual anymore, becos you can always call to say "hey I am on my way, in the bus be there in 10min" the truth is they just left the office. It starts with the fact that it is so convenient to call and say "we will be there soon". In the old days, we will make sure we start off early to get there on time.

    Another is clients will call you after office hours to ask to rush a new piece of work. They could have called during the day... no they have to call around 8pm to tell you that. What can you do when you have left the office? it is so rude to intrude on personal space, utterly no respect!

    I wish we were back in those days when we had no phone, when we had to make appointments ahead. really spend quality time with a friend becos it is so difficult to to find time to meet. Those moments will be so treasured.

    Well there are pros and cons, at least I can call my girlfriend at anytime to rant!!!

    Bless you.

  9. Wonderful Sus... and I loved this line "Gone are the days when only the inner clothes were the most personal and closer to any individual."

    Being absent physically from a place makes excuses easy to come by in the form of lies (white or black). And even the phone co. is trying to promote it as the most personal all-in-one possession.

    It is a crime not to have mobile phone and and ppl look up and down at you depending on the phone we carry. If it is a little nokio 1100 then u are as despicable as the dug bugs!!

    :)) cya Sus

  10. One more nuisance-creating use of the mobile phone, is its use as a music player. So many people on the streets, trains, buses, etc. switch on the speaker and play songs in the loudest possible tone, oblivious to the fact that they are actually disturbing others.

    Another intrusion I've faced is when travelling through the city to a relative's place, I get calls atleast 2-3 times about my location. It irks me so much, as it disturbs my train of thought.

  11. Gaia: Even I agree with the ranting part. I do that quite often and every time it’s a long distance call. Going back is impossible but learning to use the mobile judiciously is the key.

    Joy always dear one!

    Ashes: Isn’t it true about the mobile seeping into the most personal zone and seen as an instrument which is so very precious. Many fights arise out of this small device. What you have mentioned about the phone models is also quite true, sadly.

    Hugs Ashes.

    Vinay: Ah! I forgot that part. The most famous irritating tune is that of ‘Dhoom machao’ and ‘Chaiyan Chaiyan.’ It irks me so much that I start staring at the person playing the songs. And those relatives who call: ‘Where have your reached?’ ‘How much time more for the train to arrive?’ I guess it’s a blessing that my phone’s maximum volume is inaudible to me while in trains and as a result I thankfully miss many calls. Cheerfully. I hope my relatives are not reading this!!!

  12. Well said. we have become over-dependent on these gadgets. We tend to speak such lies or harmless lies coz either we don't want to upset the other person or avoid their wrath.

  13. Shas: After a long time. Thanks for coming by. Your kind words are appreciated. Come by as often.

    Take care.

    Joy always, Shas.

  14. Oh I love this post. I know I have a mobile and use it often, but sometimes it feels so good to hang up. I know of a friend who refused to have a cell phone. I think sometimes that is the best thing to do...

  15. Oh! Sayujya: How nice of you to come by. Are you talking about Satchin? I guess so. Glad to see a comment from you.

    Take care.

  16. Great post on this device. Hate to say it, but the percentage of people using their cells while driving is unbelievable. I am always checking out a driver and sure enough they have a cell to their ears while driving! Drives me nutts!

  17. JBR: Thanks for coming by. Its been long. Hope you are fine and sustained. Yeah, even here we face the problem of drivers talking while driving. Sometimes, they are irked if we ask them to talk later.

    Joy always.

  18. Susan, really, where do you come up with your ideas? It's such an important topic, but I never would've imagined. And yet, there really is a lot to say.

    I know that when mobile phones first came out I was addicted to my phone. It was a new fad and I just wanted to experiment with the whole thing. It was fun and cool and yahoo! But in the last couple of years, I have found myself distant from my mobile phone. My husband and I have our phones, but we use them for emergency purposes rather than as a reason to just talk. We only give one another and family our cell phone numbers. And we try not to get in each other's space. Trying to spy on someone using a mobile phone is just a ridiculous thing, I think. We're losing so many of our instinctive skills because we're becoming more and more dependent on these gadgets that we created for our comfort and convenience. I remember when women used to depend on their inner thermometer to know if the husband was being true. Now, looking through his cell phone is the standard fare, but silly because one can be careful. And for every invention that we have created there is an opposite invention to counter it. So, then, where are we?

    I think mobile phones are a good tool to have when one is in a bind, but being glued to that thing all the time and developing a dependence on it is just beyond mindless!


  19. Susan, it is remarkable how a technology meant to connect can sometimes make us feel hunted instead. Loneliness is bad, but solitude can be glorious. Until it's interrupted by an obnoxious ring tone, that is!

    An intriguing and thoughtful post. I'm glad that we have connected through another medium fraught with dangers! ;)

  20. Nevine: Glad that you liked the post. Thanks for the kind words. Gadgets are to be used for emergency but then it is otherwise.

    Judicious use is the need of the hour.

    Sarah: Thanks for coming by and the following as well. It means a lot to me. I am glad as well that we have connected in a medium as this. Cheers to the new friend!

    Joy always.

  21. A great post written so very well,
    looking back in time, was our lives swell
    without the ringing of the telephone bell?
    Or is it a wonder how we could live without a cell?

    Part of this comment was made by me half an hour ago @ like it was relevant here too.

  22. Govind now its my turn to say: 'Besh besh romba nanna iruku.'

    Thanks for that poem.

    Joy always.

  23. But hey..I don't like the days before the mobile phone....
    When one reaches on time and the friend is late..Even lies help ease the wait...Ah! That rhymed! :)

    But yes...Sometimes it all does get a lil too much. A very interesting choice of topic..As always...

  24. Ashley: I admire your frankness. Refreshing. Oh! yes it does rhyme.

    Thanks for the nice words . . . as always.

    Joy always.

  25. When car phones first arrived in the marketplace, I could not afford one, so I used the garage door remote and it looked like I was a proud owner of a carphone.

    As if ANYONE was looking/noticing...grin! I mean what, well...E.G.O.

    Now I have my DROID...and wouldn't be without it. ANYWHERE! Yep, I became one of "those" Peeps!

  26. I like my phone it does help me a lot in every way but I don't love it because it's creating me into a human being who gets away with pretends and lies at all times... Your post really captures the problems that human beings are becoming these days.... Thank you for sharing Susan...:) XOXO

  27. Susan, this side of a cell phone has never entered my mind. I have never used those lines on my cell. I do keep it close to me throughout the day because it is my only phone contact source.
    My children have both had cell phones in the past but due to decreased income, their phones had to be turned off. At first, they ranted and raved, but soon found that they could live just fine without a cell phone in their life. Imagine that! We did it growing up and turned out just fine.
    I guess my argument about cell phones is the texting component. It encourages poor English due to all the abbreviated language and also lends to lack in communication skills. Not having to have a face to face conversation with others leaves you with a lack of social skills, especially with youngsters.

  28. Steve:

    Love you.


    All of us invariably fall into that trap. It not lies exactly but still, . . .

    Jorie, thanks for coming by this old one. I am much honoured.


    Ah, the texting part has left most of us quite bewildered. Social skills is definitely going for a toss, with the advent of mobile phones.

    Thanks for coming by Mary. It is much appreciated.

  29. Great post I guess you can look at it as everything is good in moderation. Without my mobile phone I would of given birth to my son in my car in a country lane and given the complications that arose I and possibly him would not be here today.

    The phone is just a tool to the way people behave, it does make it easier but if you aren't that type of person you wouldn't act in that way or do that to other people. If you are it will not matter whether you have the phone or not you will still use those lies and excuses regardless.

    With regard to the tiniest of white lies - How many times have we said face to face to our children - just a second or I'll be one minute - no phone but it still happens.

    Wonderful food for thought, have missed this.

  30. SJ, your anecdote was really touching. I'm glad that the phone was available.

    Well said. With white lies we take our liberties and the children also follow.

    Thanks for coming by dear SJ.

    Warm hugs across ether.

  31. Who uses a mobile phone to talk. Talking? Kids don't do that. They text message, and live on facebook through their phones. Adults well boy do we talk on them, and many people i know seem to be attached to their phone 24/7 it never leaves their side, i wonder why?

  32. Larry:

    Sad but true. What to do? After the advent of i phone, droids and the like, I wonder about relationships, life and other things. Thanks for coming by to this old post of mine. Truly delighted.

  33. I read somewhere that now one of the main reasons for cheating and divorce is mobile phones.It is like an addiction that if we don't text anybody then we would feel restless.A lot of my friends lock their phones screen,at times inbox alone.It is like a thing without which we can't live a day



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