It deepens and makes you wallow. It envelops one to the point of OHHHHHHHHH. Everything reeks of irritation that stares down hard at you. It is like being in love but with a twist in the emotional state. Everyone seems a potential irritant.
I pity myself. I do not want that. I force myself to rise and move but a strange comfort seems to overpower me disabling the very thought of action.
I want to be non-violent in my words, my thoughts and deeds but then even that seems threatening.
I want to flee and I want to remain. I wait for phone calls and do not want to speak if the call comes. Contradictions, dualisms, people, me: All perplex my projection of me.