"I love meeting new people"

 "I love meeting new people"

"I don't hesitate to talk to strangers"

"It's wonderful to connect to new people for they bring new perspectives"

The afore-mentioned lines can be commonly seen in many Twitter, Instagram and other profiles of people. Even I like to meet new people for the reason mentioned above. But but, the idea takes a jolt when one watches certain thriller series and Netflix documentaries. I recently watched the series, 'Dahaad' on Amazon Prime which profiles a serial killer psychopath who approaches young women, befriends them and then in the most harmless manner, murders them without any remorse, regret or pain. Well, the American serial killer Ted Bundy was no different. 

When I was watching 'Dahaad,' my thoughts were on the lines of how true it is when parents warn children saying, "Don't talk to strangers" perhaps their collective memory held something that could've happened. The irony of the present day, "I love meeting new people" stares one in the eye. Of course, every walking person isn't a serial killer or a psychopath but how likely it is that we would know if we came across one in Instagram/Twitter or any other sites like Bumble, Tinder and others. 

Loneliness, nurture and a need for intimacy is something most individuals crave for and if someone who is first a stranger promises the qualities, why not is the question. For example, in 'Dahaad,' the women were past the marriageable age, belonged to the backward caste whose parents were unable to provide them with handsome dowries which led to their marriage getting delayed. The killer after a thorough check of the afore-mentioned details, snares the women with words and promises of marrying them and after establishing a trust, marries them and murders them. The man in question leads a seemingly normal life with wife and a kid alongside a respectable job as a college teacher. Well, how can anyone predict that the next person that they would probably befriend isn't a psychopath!

The thriller, raised many questions in my mind which of course, is another post for another day but the question still looms in my mind, "Should we not talk to strangers?" In the last episode of the series, the killer, after being arrested mentions, "Women who talk to strangers and get close to them should not be spared." Well, be your own judge.

Image courtesy: Wikipedia

The clash of the brain and brawn

The recent lockdown has all of us cooped up in the confines of our homes which is a bag of mixed emotions. For me particularly, the lockdown has brought house-work and a feverish craze to clean and sparkle the home, which isn't a bad thing, after all but it does have serious implications - I am unable to give myself to any intellectual or academic work. Reading, writing and attending to various activities of critical insights leading to a paper in a journal/book is practically impossible for me. But on the days when I set aside the housework-that-never-ends, I am able to focus on activities that require the brain and not brawn.

I have often wondered on the disparity of the brain and brawn. Many friends who are academics don't much indulge in house-work for it is time and energy consuming leaving no time for any other work. Here I am also tempted to think that I have always given more weight to work that involves the mind instead of physical work but the lockdown has brought to the surface ground realities - The house work cannot be ignored and I being I, cannot leave anything half done (The saying, Well begun is half done has always given rise to a conflict in me!). Cooking has become an elaborate affair and so has cleaning and shining the sundry stuff around me. I enjoy seeing the work of my hands and take pride in the sweat of my brow but I'm not quite content; I think of the academic work that could have been done in this time of lockdown. This is when existential angst smothers me and I start missing my helps. How I wish they would relieve me of this but I also know that I am a better worker than them - cooking tasty food and shining my vessels and clothes brighter. I am perpetually drenched in sweat and always on the run - vessels, clothes, hair everywhere (my nonhuman companion's) and of course, the plants and the cobwebs! Sigh.

Someone I know refers to housework as menial job which requires no much thought but mechanical rendering of the work and I think that person is right - Because when I tick off each finished task, I am glad that I don't have to be critical or analytical (perhaps analysis into how to remove that oil stain or how to reach a corner which my help has conveniently overlooked through for eight years!). And at the end of the day, I sometimes feel happy that there is no much thinking involved - at the same time missing the fact that I could have written couple of essays or short articles.

At the end of the day, the brain and the brawn keep me engaged and away from thoughts that arise from the dark labyrinth of the social media though I am yet to master the art of detachment from the same. But I do wish earnestly that I manage time to distribute to both the Bs - the brain and the brawn.

Breaking-up in the time of social networking*

Long ago, not so long ago, when I was a teenager and going through my share of heart-breaks and tears, it was rather easy to gather the reins and spring up. Why? I never had the hassle of ever seeing the guy who caused the pain and tears. Even till date, I haven't seen those guys who broke my heart. Well, I guess things are not as easy today.

First, there is the glaring 'relationship status' followed by the unfriending process. If that is not enough, there are mutual friends, tags and the like. There are different categories of friends and each of them only knows a 'certain' aspect of you and it so happens that the guy is known to many of the many friends. I cannot imagine the queries that rise after the relationship status is changed! Okay, deactivating Facebook for a short duration seems like a plausible idea but feminist-induced thoughts like, 'Why should I leave Facebook for a guy?' starts playing repeatedly in the mindscape. If you are a blogger then you face double jeopardy.

Blogging was a suggestion that the ex-beau would have given and you took to it as fish to water and now whenever you open blogger, memories start surfacing like the boiling milk when you are not around. The first comment would have been from him and boy! the comment was so touching. One cannot delete all the comments because egged on by his encouragement, hundreds of posts have been written. Sigh!

One cannot open Facebook, Blogger and Twitter without the messages being seen. Ah, how did I forget Google+. Well, he would have shared so many feeds with you that he thought were interesting and informative and it was almost a ritual to like all the things that he shared. Ah, now doesn't that make things a bit complicated.

Then there are the ubiquitous BBM (Blackberry messenger), Androids, blah blah to unfriend and block. Gosh! I'd rather not fall in love at all!

After the unfriending and blocking rituals, there is this nagging feeling to stalk the person by trying to sneak and read his/her blogs and checking out the Facebook profile through a common friend's profile. A permanent closure is sought but the lurking temptation of keeping tab is slightly overpowering.

I guess there is one solution to this scenario: Don't include your beloved in any of your social networking sites. Keep a distance in the virtual world, after all you talk to her/him over the phone and see him/her quite often.

Well, what do you have to say on this, dear reader?

* The title is inspired by Gabriel Garcia Marquez's 1988 novel, Love in the Time of Cholera

Image: Internet