Saturday, 15 November 2014

FeAr.inc

Fear is something that manifests itself in different ways for various individuals. All of us, I reckon have some fear that is ever present, throbbing and threaten to rise any moment. It might be a fear of spotting a spider unawares or bad toilets or simply safety of a loved one. And, for that matter, most of it is psychological.
 

My parents-in-law have come to stay with us for a fortnight and through them we are experiencing the play of fear. They have come here from god's own country and it would not be an exaggeration if it was said that fear covers Kerala like a shroud. Open doors and windows after 7 pm make my parents-in-law quite tense. The freedom of having doors kept open even at 10: 30 pm gives them a shiver. My father-in-law especially gets restless and time-to-time asks us, "Shall I lock the door?" to which we casually mention, "No papa, it's fine." He cannot sit still and finally when we are not looking, he quickly closes the door, latches all the three locks and goes around to find other doors to close and latch. Well, my husband and I find this quite amusing but we also recognise the force of habit and the fear that is so etched in their minds. The same quality can be extended to many areas of our lives - Children fearing doing something because the parents have threatened them with dire consequences. Sometimes the fear never leaves even when the children are no longer children. Women who do not change some patterns of living long after they have divorced their abusive husband. Senior citizens who have long lived with certain ideas and routines and so on.
 

Fear is not entirely a negative emotion. Sometimes fear does help - for e. g. butterflies in the stomach before a speech or a class helps in better performance; a small fear before embarking on something big is generally positive and keeps us grounded and gives us a counter emotion to perform better and turn the fear into a motivating force.
 

But the kind of fear that has gripped my parents-in-law is not quite positive because it creates a tension of danger which is an impediment for them to feel safe and sound. The fear prevents them from enjoying the beauty of the calm night's breeze or the sighting of the moon through open windows. I still cannot blame them but hold the state of Kerala responsible for not providing the necessary policies and system to keep the place free of crime and robbery. Inspite of a police station located right in the adjacent street, my parents-in-law are scared of robbers who usually use different gimmicks to steal from houses.
 


Some fears don't go away - nor time nor god nor anything can enable a complete removal of the fear. I pray that such fears never grip us at any point of our life.
 

Dear reader, what is your fear that paralyses your living.

9 comments:

  1. My mother feels the same way your father in law does. Having lived in a house that was burgled thrice, I know where she is coming from.
    My fear is health related. Any illness in the family scares me more than it should. I need to think about it. Is it border line hypochondria? Could be.

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    1. I shudder to think how I would be when I am old, Alka. Even I panic when it comes to health, and with the information overload on the internet, fear has become common place.

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  2. I agree any incident that leaves an imprint can result in fear. My house was burglarized n when it gets dark...I try to keep things latched

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    1. True that, Ruchira. Sometimes the scars don't heal at all. Freedom from fear is like asking for the moon.

      Thanks for stopping by, dear Ruchira.

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  3. Fear is difficult to overcome but can be overcome with patience, positive outlook and constant praying to calm mind.

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    1. My father-in-law is a priest, now retired but still the praying does not calm the mind. But I do agree with you on overcoming fear.

      And, it has been so long. Hope you are well CS.

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  4. That is something I too experience over here as my in laws (again from God's own country) stay with us and they get jittery if the main door is left open. My MIL makes sure that the door leading to the terrace is locked and bolted daily before bed time.

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    Replies
    1. It is quite sad that the beautiful god's own country is in such a dismal state!

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  5. Fear can be so debilitating. So sorry your parents-in-law live with the persistent fear that their home will be robbed because this robs them of taking joy in each moment.
    Blessings, Susan!

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