tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post4784541771224885428..comments2024-03-13T06:55:06.760+05:30Comments on Meanderings and Reflections: Romanticising the term 'single mom'S. Susan Deborahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08885957854901839400noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-71925046744816593782012-01-22T17:50:44.028+05:302012-01-22T17:50:44.028+05:30Same page, Mrs Sus. Single Mom is not what she doe...Same page, Mrs Sus. Single Mom is not what she does; it's what she is. As an English teacher, I was at least gunning for parallelism. :)<br /><br />In my country, we use the term to refer to either separated or unmarried women who have children, not widows and divorced women (because there's no divorce in my country). You're right, I think the media romanticizes it, with famous celebrities acting as poster girls. Some of my female friends don't even want to get married anymore, just have kids (they treat men as sperm donors rather than partners). It's one of the ways that society is changing.AJhttp://ajpoliquit.wordpress.com/about/travel-a-to-z/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-15000169481336504642012-01-21T12:52:53.677+05:302012-01-21T12:52:53.677+05:30Dear Nevine:
How wonderful it is to see you after...Dear Nevine:<br /><br />How wonderful it is to see you after a long time. As always, you make a good point and always help me to see beyond my thoughts. The "humanity" angle is something I overlooked. Thanks Nevine for this thought.<br /><br />I wish you a lovely weekend as well filled with calm and joy.S. Susan Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08885957854901839400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-59070813212160507362012-01-20T18:36:30.738+05:302012-01-20T18:36:30.738+05:30I have to admit I hate labels. The inevitable trut...I have to admit I hate labels. The inevitable truth, though, is that they are everywhere. Whether the label is positive or negative, I feel it is still a label. And on the single mom topic, I feel it's not so much that we're raising single moms on a pedestal, as it is possibly an effort to allow for more compassion for what these ladies (and sometimes girls) must endure. Even in the most accepting/nonjudgmental of societies, judgment is always there, though never spoken. Along with the judgment that the term carries with it, there is perhaps some humanity that it invites, even if it is only from the minority of people. As for single dads, my hat is off to those who bear the brunt of raising a child all by themselves, regardless of their gender. One thing I keep in mind, though: Society is always quicker to pass judgment on the woman than on the man, even when that society claims respect for women's rights, etc. My two cents, at any rate.<br /><br />Wishing you a glorious weekend!<br /><br />NevineNevine Sultanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08794887684860140819noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-19935491302966771552012-01-20T15:51:07.743+05:302012-01-20T15:51:07.743+05:30Hey GQ: How nice to have you stop by after a long ...Hey GQ: How nice to have you stop by after a long time. Ah, GQ, look around and you will find aplenty. The media uses all these tags and is happy to label.S. Susan Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08885957854901839400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-3959458232785200702012-01-20T15:50:03.035+05:302012-01-20T15:50:03.035+05:30Welcome Love sms. Glad to have you here. Thanks fo...Welcome Love sms. Glad to have you here. Thanks for the subscription. Please do stop by whenever free and inclined.S. Susan Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08885957854901839400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-61327311547412627952012-01-20T15:49:18.439+05:302012-01-20T15:49:18.439+05:30Zuzana, the problem I see is with the tag of a sin...Zuzana, the problem I see is with the tag of a single mom that many women are comfortable using. What I don't understand is when they can use their profession as a label, why use their marital status.<br />Thanks for coming by and sharing your insight, dear Zuzana. Much appreciated.S. Susan Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08885957854901839400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-83179669734892631272012-01-20T10:41:27.874+05:302012-01-20T10:41:27.874+05:30Hmmm....intersting. I have heard that homemaker is...Hmmm....intersting. I have heard that homemaker is a title. I will have to listen for the single mom tag. Our societies world wide seem to often ridicule the best way.Grayquillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03118855928142920785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-43846921484889181522012-01-20T03:32:40.423+05:302012-01-20T03:32:40.423+05:30Attractive element of content. I simply stumbled u...Attractive element of content. I simply stumbled upon your website and in accession capital to say that I get actually loved account your weblog posts. Anyway I will be subscribing in your augment or even I achievement you access persistently rapidly.<br /><a rel="nofollow">love sms</a>love smshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12931352792160070201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-42115775650454681152012-01-19T18:39:50.163+05:302012-01-19T18:39:50.163+05:30Dear Susan, a very interesting subject, although n...Dear Susan, a very interesting subject, although not much contemplated by me, as (until very recently) I have no experience in raising children.;) I believe that the term single mom is not as derogatory here in Scandinavia as maybe other places, where women are perfectly capable of having kids on their own - and they even do, many by choice through IVF. The state looks after a woman that is single with children and they get a lot of money in benefits, besides whatever the father has to pay if they are divorced.<br />I think being a single mom in Denmark is definitely not something to much distinguished from being a single dad.;) Of course, the effects of living alone and missing that special someone to help raising ones children is a totally different subject and I guess the suffering, mental and emotional, is the same everywhere.<br />xoxoZuzanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02137958790178864561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-10243123213958041572012-01-18T09:14:15.220+05:302012-01-18T09:14:15.220+05:30Myrna, some topics which constantly stare at me in...Myrna, some topics which constantly stare at me in the face are dealt with in this sphere. Sometimes I don't know in which direction to think and so I write posts and want to see what my readers have to say. I'm glad that the topics make you ponder. Great ideas come after great pondering.<br />Love to hear from you, as always :)S. Susan Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08885957854901839400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-55436776421923422042012-01-18T09:11:50.941+05:302012-01-18T09:11:50.941+05:30The way the single parents bring up their children...The way the single parents bring up their children is something worth admiring. Providing for and taking care of children is not an easy task.S. Susan Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08885957854901839400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-25164867289385460522012-01-18T09:09:12.429+05:302012-01-18T09:09:12.429+05:30Quite right, Betty.Quite right, Betty.S. Susan Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08885957854901839400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-70242410685195401152012-01-18T09:08:50.957+05:302012-01-18T09:08:50.957+05:30You are making a vaild point here. My mom also bro...You are making a vaild point here. My mom also brought us up single-handedly but not once she has used any label associated with her being single. She just carried on with life. I guess the media loves all this tagging and labelling. This media has caused so much furore in the smooth running of life :)S. Susan Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08885957854901839400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-88334734292808483282012-01-18T09:07:07.552+05:302012-01-18T09:07:07.552+05:30Quite right, Corinne. Labels of any kind are just ...Quite right, Corinne. Labels of any kind are just unwelcome.S. Susan Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08885957854901839400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-87261485903368388242012-01-18T09:06:24.883+05:302012-01-18T09:06:24.883+05:30Even I admire and respect them for they are always...Even I admire and respect them for they are always battling against the odds to bring their kids up. But using that as a tag is something not quite welcome.S. Susan Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08885957854901839400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-80911070445707058482012-01-18T09:05:04.822+05:302012-01-18T09:05:04.822+05:30DUTA, but here it is not as common. We have no sep...DUTA, but here it is not as common. We have no separate tags for women and men who bring up children and that's why it baffles me.<br />Social benefits from authorities can be obtained even without the kind of hype that is now being associated with that tag.S. Susan Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08885957854901839400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-42417459228708794342012-01-18T08:55:57.932+05:302012-01-18T08:55:57.932+05:30More than the woman, I guess its the media which l...More than the woman, I guess its the media which loves doing this and then it becomes dear to the woman who also plays on it and the vicious circle keeps moving over and over.<br />Single motherhood has also caught on here after Sushmitha Sen adopted a girl without getting married. I remember that I looked upon her with awe but the days are gone when women were genuinely intersted in being a single mom. Or, maybe I don't know what happens in a woman's mind when she wants to adopt a child without getting married. Call me conventional or old-fashioned, I just cannot imagine taking care of a baby and the various things associated with the baby.<br />Thanks for your warm words of appreciation. They make my day :)S. Susan Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08885957854901839400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-53613392446110495172012-01-18T06:19:38.436+05:302012-01-18T06:19:38.436+05:30You make a good point here Susan. I never conside...You make a good point here Susan. I never considered it before. I know single moms have a rough time, but I get what you're saying about the labels. <br /><br />As always, you are stirring up stuff for the rest of us to ponder. And you do this so well.Myrna R.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15088915165678737118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-74606776577561051812012-01-17T22:15:15.156+05:302012-01-17T22:15:15.156+05:30i hear you...and i actually have a lot of respect ...i hear you...and i actually have a lot of respect for those moms...they do not have it easy at all...def some food for thought here susan....Brian Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00722940075884718007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-57584558150586444652012-01-17T21:07:15.547+05:302012-01-17T21:07:15.547+05:30I get why people would use the term,but your post ...I get why people would use the term,but your post brought up so many interesting sides to the labeling of people and what we choose to call ourselves and why.Bossy Bettyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12568355839499622409noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-78706535065648949222012-01-17T20:26:24.722+05:302012-01-17T20:26:24.722+05:30I see your point. Everytime I have heard the term ...I see your point. Everytime I have heard the term single mom, it has inspired respect in me for the person who hs stood up against all odds because the term "single mom" is also usually to denote a girl/woman who has had children out of wedlock - not necessarily divorced. And contrary to my feelings, the majority in society do not take that with appreciation, it's more derogatary. But I hear you here - derogatory or not why use that to label a person - then all the not single moms should also be called by their marital and child status!Yuvikahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12871366730928566530noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-34950366455612545122012-01-17T19:46:24.360+05:302012-01-17T19:46:24.360+05:30I really do get fed up of labels of any sort, Susa...I really do get fed up of labels of any sort, Susan. Working mom, mompreneur (whatever that it!), single woman, stay-at-home Dad ...the list goes on. How we love to label, don't we?Corinne Rodrigueshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00127426375705808776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-48991515725042525342012-01-17T18:22:43.526+05:302012-01-17T18:22:43.526+05:30I admire single parents of both genders but I see ...I admire single parents of both genders but I see your point. Being a single parent is not a profession it's a commitment. Someone cuts you check for your profession, not so in single parenting!Leah Griffithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10424758000036417506noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-2319059571192183382012-01-17T18:01:46.861+05:302012-01-17T18:01:46.861+05:30I think the terms 'single mom', 'stay ...I think the terms 'single mom', 'stay at home dad',already rooted in our daily language, have emerged mainly out of those people's very practical need to get recognition of their difficult situation, and thus certain social benefits from the authorities.DUTAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12979375799258978432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7205157387819958650.post-46621649593897530792012-01-17T17:44:32.960+05:302012-01-17T17:44:32.960+05:30I agree with your observations.The term is being r...I agree with your observations.The term is being romanticized by the media nowadays.Rather than telling one was divorced(if that were the case),the term is seen to carry lesser stigma.It belongs to the 'I am a woman,hear me roar' category.<br /><br /><br />I was also wondering about another kind of single motherhood that is quite popular in the west.Under decades of feminist influence,it seems the choice of single motherhood has become the bonafide 'right' of women.Jennifer Aniston was once on the cover of People magazine,and the headline was I dont need a man to be a mom.She also starred in a movie "Switch" which potrays children who were concieved by use of a sperm doner - a development that was hailed as 'empowering' for women.The message was that children of doner fathers turn out 'just fine' .So if you are a woman,single and forty,just order some sperm and life will be grand.An assertion that is both shortsighted and immature.<br /><br />We already portray an urban single mom as cool.Its only a matter of time before we take it to extremes.<br /><br />Susan,the diversity of topics you come up with is simply mind blowing:DArumugamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17687211004217642608noreply@blogger.com